Sunday, June 12, 2016

Safe Zone Gay Bar

This story is to point you don't have to be gay to go to a gay bar!
Yes, people that are not gay go there! People gay or not are people!

I dated a lady hair dresser for a time in the 1990's.
She barfed on the first date, then she took me to a gay bar!
She smoked weed and liked to go at gay bars being she had a hard life she
was abused by a biker gang lady that had a death threat on her
so she felt safe at a gay bar that was her security.
I'm not gay, she was not gay it was her security to go there.
Guys don't hit on women in a gay bar!

I have to note there is a sanctuary for many gay and straight
at the gay bar. Yes you can go to a gay bar if your not gay you just need
to have enough smarts to not act stupid.
Just be real knowing where you are!

When I was there in the 90's the times where different.
For the time me and the Hair dresser where pioneers in
that we both where not gay or BI and yet we both went
to the gay bar. For her is was her security blanket and
noted for many it's the same sorts out there or not.

Me? I am supportive and the healer in my relationships.
Bulldoze me put a leash on me it's a long term by your side
till the end! That is just how I am! Never a bad thing!

At the time there where many types that went to the gay bar
you get the few of people like the guy with a leash on that
the lady had on him! Yes... that was accepted in a gay bar.
Where else would it be accepted?
One lady two guys. Married lady with lover etc.
These days polyamory is the norm there!
All of that because the love behind it is respected.

If you love her take her to a gay bar!
It's also a test of love by the effort of doing so for her.

But it was the point the lady was the queen of them in that manner.
It gets odd when it is reverse like the men are the king and has the women
on the leash. That was not accepted well in the gay bar in the 90's
and even now I am sure. It just doesn't fit in well.
Those times where different!

The point many need to know is that a gay bar would be a place not
only for security it's a place where you could let your free spirit fly or
where you can be within your innermost self without people calling you
crazy! It's not crazy it's just cake by the ocean for many!

~~~~~Dear straight people, this is how you should act in gay bars
Gay bars are not just for LGBTI people, we all know this, but it is a sanctuary for them.
We all know that feeling when we see a drunk straight girl angry she’s not getting any attention or when a straight guy reacts badly to getting hit on.
So a gay guy has absolutely nailed how the straights should act when they’re in a gay space, and it essentially comes down to ‘have respect’.

Reddit was asked: ‘Gay men or anybody – Do you find it slightly weird or disrespectful when a group of straight people (often liberal college girls) want to hang out at gay bars or clubs?

And one user responded by saying: ‘Speaking as a gay guy, I don’t think it’s categorically rude; it depends on the circumstances, and how the straight person in question acts while there. I have written an open letter to the straight community to explain the nuances,

‘Dear straight people:
‘Generally speaking, you are perfectly welcome in our bars, as long as you keep in mind that they are spaces that are not intended to cater to you – if you think that’s unfair, then go cry about it ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD, since that’s the space that DOES cater to you, pretty much exclusively. You know that sense of discomfort and alienation that you sometimes feel in our bars? That’s how we feel in virtually every social space we go to, so please do not begrudge us this one public place on Earth where we can pay for the “privilege” to hit on, dance with, and make out with people we actually find attractive without watching our backs.

‘For straight women, respecting the importance of our sanctuaries means that you should recognize gay bars are not an ideal place to hold your bachelorette party (in jurisdictions where we are not allowed to marry, that’s particularly tacky); that, if you are a young attractive woman, you will not be the centre of attention that you are accustomed to being in straight bars, and that just because you are among a bunch of gay dudes does not mean you have free reign to drunkenly grope us on the dance floor or at the bar (by the same token, we do not have the right to paw at your boobs just because we are gay; I invite you to put any drunken gay lout who does so firmly in his place).

‘For straight men (particularly good-looking ones), you should prepare for the very real possibility that a gay dude might make a pass at you while you are at a gay bar. If you can’t find it in yourself to politely decline a pass from another guy, then stay the hell out. Most of the time saying something like, “I’m flattered, but straight” will be the end of it, but remember that some gay guys are jerks, just like some straight guys are jerks, and will likewise not respond well to having their advances rebuffed. If you don’t think you can handle that, then you can be sure that your night will be better spent in a straight bar, no matter how much better our music is (and it IS).

‘Finally, for straight couples, try to have some decorum. We don’t resent your dancing together or engaging in modest displays of affection. If, however, you descend into a full-blown grinding/makeout session on the dance floor, it kind of sends the signal that you are trying to lay claim to our space, and we may not take kindly to that. Again, you can console yourself with the knowledge that you can do that kind of thing pretty much anywhere else on the planet; you should be more than content with that.
‘In closing, feel free to come to a gay bar, as long as you respect the fact that it’s a GAY bar.

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