Friday, August 9, 2019

African American Women, Freedom-Based Relationships, Being Open than not

As it's said in a time it needs to be said more "Love doesn't know about races, age, culture, religion, social status, love is just love!" Marital status? Well yes that also in freedom based relationships / polyamory! The point is about love and admitting, accepting everyone's needs. Dropping the false fears all walking into the sun rise together for a new day together!

Love gives balance in a world of great unbalance! And so in a marriage you should be able to talk about each others balance otherwise it is unbalanced and what life is that! Living a disabling life together... Why?

Recently I was asked about what it means to be an African American woman practicing polyamory.  According to WIkipedia Polyamory (from Greek πολύ [poly], meaning “many” or “several”, and Latin amor, “love“) is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.  My husband, Carl, and I have been practicing polyamory for about seven years now.  He too is African American.

We came upon this style of love after eleven happy years of marriage.  One day he came home from work, sat me down, and explained he was having feelings for another woman.  As a stay-at-home mom, nursing our third child and home schooling two others, I was taken aback by this.  One million thoughts of betrayal, deception, and rejection came ot my mind.  However, I too had been in his position prior in our relationship.  At year four in our marriage, I had felt feelings for another man.  I too was able to open up and share that information with he and our marriage counselors.

Neither my husband or myself had acted upon our love for an outside partner without first bringing it to the other.  We had both been honest and up front about what was happening.  That gave us leverage and mental stability.  We hadn’t “cheated” on one another, we were simply willing to share the truth with one another.

My husband’s admission of his feelings that day opened a long period of reflection and discussion between us.  For two full years after that date, we talked about how we could and should conduct our relationship.  Even as I was afraid of him loving another woman, I wanted to see him happy.  If happiness meant loving others, as well as myself, I was willing to at least think about it.  My husband, no matter if I’d decided not to embrace this idea, would never leave my side as husband, provider and so forth.  I felt assured of this.

But what about me?  Would I be afforded the same privileges to see and love outside partners as he was asking for?  At first, the idea of me being ‘open’ to intimate relations with others seemed foreign to Carl.  However, over time he came to understand I should have the same freedoms and privileges as he.  In fact, after discussing this arrangement for two full years, I was the one who met a man outside the relationship and began a dating process first!

Granted, it was not an easy transition into polyamory or what we now call Freedom-Based Relating™.  We had many arguments, jealousy spells, and out right break downs.  Our children were a factor, we wanted to make sure anything we did was something we felt comfortable sharing with the children.  So we decided on embracing responsibility rules that would make it such that our lives with family, particularly our children, would not be neglected.

We also thought about money, safe sex, emotional attachment to others and what that would do to our relationship.  We talked about so many things in that two year process – this actually drew us in closer than ever before.  Our sex life was fantastic, and our communication deepened as we became authentic with one another in this way.

My first time dating another man outside the marriage was not easy for my husband, nor was it easy when he eventually – some months later – began dating outside the marriage.  There was nothing that could have prepared us for the experience.   Everything we’d discussed was useless when it came to the actual act of sharing love with other partners.  However, everything we’ve experienced since then, the intellectual growth, the bond created from authentic sharing, and the love and friendship that deepened with the experience has been extraordinary.  We’ve paved a way for others by creating the very tools we ourselves needed as we moved through those tough phases.

What we went through together is what I like to call the death of ego-based insecurity, possessiveness, and the ownership mentality.  My husband and I grew up into adults through this experience, and as Jada Pinkett-SMith says – we began a grown folks relationship.  My husband could do whatever he wanted, and so could I.  This was the beginning of a very beautiful new relationship between us.

In reference to being an African American living an alternative relationship style, I’d say we feel like pioneers in one sense, but in another sense, people have been doing this for so long – albeit under the radar – that it shouldn’t seem new.  What’s new is the honesty, what’s new is the idea that we can both tell the truth.  Telling the truth, I’ve found, removes an element of fear.  Be mindful that telling the truth doesn’t mean there is no pain, but in my humble view, I’d much rather know the truth than find out my partner has been inauthentic with me.

I believe practicing this alternative relationship style – freedom-based relating – has strengthened us as human beings.  Not only are we sparing ourselves the horrific statistic of marriage failure in the African American context, which is 70%, but we are also opening a doorway into possible solutions for others.  We do not believe the entire solution to the issue of marriage failure, and broken families is polyamory, but we do believe there are elements to being authentic and able to tell the truth that would support modern couples.

SInce that time, my husband and I have written several books, as well we run a Love Academy online.  We feel it pertinent to note the honesty we have been able to cultivate in our relationship, the fearless authenticity, is something that can support even couples who wish to remain sexually exclusive.  As well, we have developed a three step plan to opening a marriage that includes two steps before sexual opening.

We have appeared on several talk shows, and other media.  We espouse our views and share our lives because we know how important it is to bring about solutions in a world of relationships turmoil.  African American couples need solutions, our company JujuMama llc provides them.

Regarding the fact that I represent African American women in this advocacy, as well as all women of any race, I will say as a woman who lives a Freedom-Based lifestyle, I feel utterly liberated and free.  It feels good to enjoy the unconditional love of my husband.  It feels good to trust and know that he will never leave my side, no matter what wonderful women he meets, and no matter what relationships I enjoy with other men.  Having been with controlling men in my past, and having felt the critical eye of a man who wants to know my whereabouts at all times, due to his insecurity and lack of trust – it feels good to be trusted and respected, and honored in this way – freedom and commitment, I feel, go hand in hand.

Our lifestyle takes courage, but it rewards us with commitment that feels more flexible and valuable, less flimsy than what we felt during our exclusive years.  In fact, I feel more committed to my partner now that we are open, than I did in the first eleven years of marriage.  Currently we have been married 19 years.

Where would we be today without having gone through this transition into polyamory?  We’d still be married, and raising our children together; but, would we truly know one another?  Would we feel as comfortable in our skin together as we do now?  Would we have worked so diligently on removing the fear, insecurity, and jealousy that plague even sexually exclusive relationships?  I just don’t feel so.  Taking this step, as an African American couple has meant finding a new frontier in freedom that feels satisfying, intelligent and utterly delightful.  Taking this journey together means an ongoing process in giving up a dependency on fear in exchange for a true relationship with real love.  We were up for the exchange and it has been a very moving life experience, one that I don’t regret and will always cherish.

Recently I’ve been catapulted into new layers of my open marriage.  There are always more layers to explore when we opening to the unknown, right?  Poly was the unknown for me, ten years ago, and boldly exploring this spiritual path has made me invincible.  I say that not to show out, just to express what spiritual work, vulnerability, breaking paradigms, and living creatively will do for one’s life.  It does indeed expand you!  You become more than you believed you were!  You reminisce on the times you wanted stability or security via this one human.  You realize stability and security are with you as forces no matter what is going on or who is in your life!

~~~~~Coming Out Poly in a Christian Family: All in Good Time
Some days I want to shout from the rooftops that I have discovered a part of myself that is so wonderful and freeing. My family is important to me, and I want them to share in my happiness. I know that it is naive of me to think that everyone should just accept my lifestyle with the same enthusiasm. Not everyone will get it. However, I do not ever want to feel like I am hiding who I am, or that I am ashamed of my second lover.  I will be patient in sharing my news. I will let it be exposed naturally and will not be afraid of anyone’s reaction.  I understand that my life is really no one else’s to live, but I want to share it. I just have to remember it will all happen in good time.

Thursday, August 8, 2019

The times they called the cops on me. LOL, And Backfire!

There has been a few times the cops have been called on me without me knowing it!

***At a Hotel I worked at in the 90's with a Angie Dickinson lookalike, I found some leftover police homicide sticky tape in the storeroom so being me I thought it would be funny to make a body outline of me on the floor in the back room of me holding my tray based on the Naked Gun Movie. This was at night and my Angie Dickinson worked early in the morning and at the time I normally woke up at 11 am. So the next day...

What I didn't know was her and her husband got into it that night I guess and he stormed out going to a motel to get away from her. So in the morning she went to work and saw the body outline so tired from a bad night her wondering what was going on she tried to call me but it was like 6 am too early and I was sleeping not hearing the phone ring. So she called her husband at work but he didn't answer also not wanting to talk to her at work. He told his co workers to say he wasn't there if she called.

Now came the panic. She thought her husband killed me and he was on the run so she ended up calling 911! "I think my husband killed my boyfriend!" I got a few more phone calls after that from many people and it woke me up. I finally answered the phone, it was her friend at work. She told me your Sweetheart was freaking out and she called 911 on you etc. So she put her on the phone letting her know I was ok! Mad at me she told me to call 911 now let them know your ok! So I did! It was funny calling 911 being you only call when someone is dead or something and I was calling to say "I'm alive!" A lot of hoopla over a prank at work but I didn't know at the time!

***The other time was a friend in college that gave me a ride from college in his truck driving in Brookside Tulsa ok. He could make his truck backfire and so being there he seen some sort of well up looking people in business suit attire walking into a bar. So he made his truck backfire and it was a bad one! Two guys ran in the bar and a lady in a business skirt and stilettos hopped into the bar running for it. Sort of like a kangaroo going into a bar joke kind of thing!

Well what we didn't know was they where state attorneys and they had a death threat from the father of the person they put in jail. So they called the cops on us thinking we shot a shotgun at them being it was a old country truck! ... It took the cops three months to run across him. He told me what happened they did the lay on the ground etc thing to him. When they got to the bottom of what was going on the cops where pissed off being they where on a APB and it messed up their Holiday looking for him!

***A few years ago I had a Mazda Protege glass packed DTM tip with the Intake Manifold Runner Valves screwed open being there was a recall they wouldn't fix do to the cars age so I fixed it myself making a massive hiss like MadMax when I gave it gas. A K&N filter also let the sound out. And my car only had two working forward gears and one reverse after a massive top speed run a few times. At the time I was using NGK BKR6EK side gaped spark plugs and they had a tendency backfire the car so I checked the plugs from time to time by putting it in neutral and pumping the gas if it backfired with my 91 octane fuel I would know I need to put different plugs in it.

So I got off work one night and i was driving in a neighborhood and did my check and the car let out a bad one. Ok I need to change them! A few days later I was looking at the local paper in the police reports. There was a story cops looking into a shotgun fired. I didn't think about it until the address in the paper was the street I went down that night. LOL!

~~~~~Backfiring motorcycles mistaken for gunfire causes panic!

Monday, August 5, 2019

The Impossible Burger a Risk to Health and Environment? Not or as bad as Soylent Green

Me when I go to the grocery store I do read the labels. Is it GMO how bad is the GMO?
And so if I don't know about it I won't buy it! And so me buying fake meat? No! Well "That" movie comes to mind and so makes me wonder what is in it!

~~~~~The Impossible Burger: Boon or Risk to Health and Environment?

Impossible Foods’ meatless burger is touted as healthy and environmentally responsible. Claire Robinson and Dr Michael Antoniou take a look at the evidence behind the hype.


Impossible Foods’ meatless burger is marketed as a healthy and environmentally responsible choice.

The key ingredient that gives the Impossible Burger its meaty taste and makes it bleed like meat when cut is soy leghemoglobin (SLH), derived from genetically engineered yeast.

The US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) refused to sign off on the safety of SLH, which has never been in the human food supply before.

The FDA is also concerned that SLH may be an allergen.

The Impossible Burger contains a number of other ingredients that are derived from genetically modified organisms (GMOs).

Some ingredients in the Burger are highly processed and are produced in industrial vats (“fermentation”).

The GM yeast must be grown in a nutrient-rich broth made of chemically synthesized ingredients that are themselves industrially manufactured.

Overall, the manufacturing processes for the Impossible Burger are materials-hungry and energy-hungry. These facts are being ignored in promotional claims about the environmental impact of the Burger.

The Impossible Burger represents the opposite of what today’s health-aware and environmentally conscious consumers want from their food: pure, natural, non-GMO ingredients that are transparently sourced.

Sunday, August 4, 2019

Stock buybacks are reaching dangerous levels - To the poor the same routine

To note low taxes helps the rich as not many poor has stocks. Like always low taxes goes to the stock investors as they make more than a poor worker does. And so less for the poor and the poor will let it go and do without! "The Same Routine!"

~~~~~Stock buybacks are reaching dangerous levels
However, the buyback boom has drawn the ire of Democrats and even some Republicans in Washington, especially since the stated reason for the 2017 tax law was to drive business investment -- not shareholder returns.

"Stock buybacks are not good for workers. End of story," Senator Sherrod Brown, Democrat from Ohio, wrote in a recent essay.

Brown plans to unveil new legislation on Wednesday aimed at curbing stock buybacks and creating a "worker dividend." ***Noting businesses will find away around it like always!

When Trump did his tax cuts I was like why not go all the way and cut it to nothing. Many businesses would implode! It would be their own personal hell, piles and piles of money. Well they can't learn if they don't fail! Now they could be imploding! 

Saturday, August 3, 2019

The Ken Hensley story

If you didn't know but should these days! The story of Ken Hensley!

~~~~~Kenneth William David Hensley (born 24 August 1945) is an English singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist and producer, best known for his work with Uriah Heep during the 1970s.

„This is not a sex, drugs & rock`n`roll book!!“ are the opening words of Ken Hensley to his autobiography „Blood On The Highway -  When too many dreams com true“ – and points out that all three topics play an important role in the second sentence. After all, Hensley was the frontman of Uriah Heep for eleven years, one of the bands that was co-founder of Hard Rock. The life story of the 61-year-old is 195 pages long and is now being released via Membran.

From 1969 to 1980, Hensley was guitarist, singer and keyboarder of Uriah Heep, since then he has been a successful solo artist. His retrospect to life is at the same time a piece of contemporary history on the rock and music business, which he comments in a critical and ironic kind of way. You get to know everything on his wild life as a rockstar, concerts, high CD-selling-numbers, voyages, parties, his first Rolls-Royce, the first car race in which he partook (he ended last), his womanizing and drugs. On the other hand there is his private life, because an autobiography could not be an autobiography without childhood- and boyhood-memories: Hensley talks about his family, his schooldays and his faible for sports – he was captain of the Under-16-cricket-team! – and his “nearly-amateur-soccer-career”.

But his dream to become Elvis grew bigger: Hensley became a rock musician – a one who is known everywhere on the planet! But he also talks about the other side of the coin in a critical and ironic way: Refined, he talks about friends and colleagues who took the “intoxicating” life a little too seriously and died due to drug overdoses. Losses like these, failed relationships and the turning away from Uriah Heep let Hensley think about his life once again. A life full of contrasts, the story of a person who is constantly searching, without knowing what for, who, in the end, finds his very personal way: After a heart attack, Hensley turns towards Christianity, and realizes that he has received a second chance. At the end of the 90es, he finally gets to know his big love, Monica, who supports his new way. A dream came true!

The autobiography will be released in English and contains many many pictures. An extensive discography and a detailed list of all mentioned musicians, like his rock-colleagues Cinderella, The Dogs, W.A.S.P. and Blackfoot complete Hensley’s life story. A must for every Hard-Rock-Fan!

Hate has regional roots in poverty and lack of education.

Small towns are small for a reason and so small is small with less resources for it's people so they are kind of on their own without getting brought up left in the dark. What grows in the dark? Nasty things!

As long as the wages are low you will have low and the social problems it brings. My view is they have to raise the pay some time it not sustainable to do without long term or they will just burn out of it closing their stores etc in town as they are too broke to shop anything. But then they will more likely come out shooting before their life burst in flames in their own personal hell, so that is just not a good thing and shows there is a need to raise the wages to get the people out of the dark!

~~~~~Hate has regional roots in poverty and lack of education, say University of Utah researchers.

cross the United States, hate groups are most active in areas with lower levels of education and ethnic diversity and a higher prevalence of poverty and conservative politics, according to a new study by geographers at the University of Utah.

But a closer analysis of individual U.S. counties reveals varied and unique regional patterns to what drives hate-group activity, the U. researchers found.

“There is no one specific cause of hate, though generally speaking, it typically stems from fear,” says their study, published Friday in Annals of the American Association of Geographers. “… Fear of change, fear of marginalization, fear of resource loss. These fears are different based on place.”

Hateful activity drops off, for example, as religious participation increases in areas along the West Coast and in the Intermountain West, the study found. Yet in the central and southeastern U.S. and along the East Coast, higher levels of religious faith correlate with more hate.

Those differences, the study said, may reflect diverse ethnic and cultural histories from region to region, with organized hate motivated by a desire to protect against perceived threats that “outsiders” might pose to regional identity, status and economic security.

“We ended up seeing these distinct regions coming out,” said Emily Nicolosi, a U. doctoral candidate in geography and study co-author. “There’s a lot more work to do in geography as a discipline, looking at hate and how it’s different in different places.”

Mapping hatred
In their research, Nicolosi and U. assistant professor Richard Medina compared U.S. census and other demographic data with the activities of hate groups as tracked by the Southern Poverty Law Center, a legal advocacy nonprofit based in Alabama.

The center’s list included 784 groups, ranging from white nationalist organizations such as American Vanguard to the Nation of Islam and Sicarii Black Hebrew Israelites.

“I think they have the most comprehensive list,” Medina said. “It’s still missing a bunch, I’m sure.”

A “hate map” on the Southern Poverty Law Center website shows two active groups in Utah: American Vanguard and the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a break-away Mormon sect based in the twin municipalities of Hildale, Utah and Colorado City, Arizona.

Friday, August 2, 2019

The effect a $15 minimum wage has on jobs and poverty in low-income areas

Being you spend what you earn so with low pay. Small towns are small for a reason because you make nothing so you have nothing. And there has never been such a time as now in income disparity in that holds much back in lack of sales labor force issues and health!

Most in rural areas are impoverished as small is small. But to also note "Disabilities are more common in rural areas." Mainly because of the excessive work ethic of working hard ending in going right into a disability over the low pay. Lack of money also makes a lace of self care making unhealthy workers going right into a disability... 
All related to low pay!

So living a low life is low and low helps no one! Raise the minimum wage as we are too low? Well yes as what is going to give? It's not fair to business to lower their prices to match the poverty wages of the town or just sale nothing because the people can't afford it spending what they earn, nothing! So the point if no raising wages is going down as it's not up and low is what everyone should expect!

"Conventional wisdom says otherwise, and so do business groups including the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. An increase in the minimum wage makes it more costly for an employer to hire an additional worker. Employers looking to maximize their profit will, in theory, hire fewer workers when the minimum wage rises." Not nothing that the higher wages is everyone in town and should not be looked at as just a few workers looking to hire. A big pot of people that spend what thy earn. Like how bigger towns have more that smaller rural towns have. Why is that? 

And I should note they raised minimum wage many times in the past and we all are still here noting we have better stuff than we did back then! Going up is up and low is low!

~~~~~Here’s the effect a $15 minimum wage has on jobs and poverty in low-income areas, according to a new study from Berkeley.

A $15 an hour minimum wage won’t slash jobs in low-income areas, according to a new study from the University of California, Berkeley, and it will also help to reduce poverty.

The study, conducted by Anna Godoey and Michael Reich, economists at UC Berkeley’s Center on Wage and Employment Dynamics, suggests that a proposal to raise the federal minimum wage to $15 an hour by 2024 would not reduce employment rates, weekly hours worked, or annual weeks worked. The study notes that $15 an hour in 2024 is roughly equivalent to $13 an hour today.

In their paper, Godoey and Reich suggested a few reasons why minimum wage increases do not necessarily lead to a loss of low-wage jobs. These include price increases in the restaurant and retail industries, which generally have a lot of minimum wage jobs, and the fact that low-wage workers who are paid more simply have more money to spend and put back into the economy.

Researchers analyzed the effects of more than 50 wage changes
The Berkeley researchers used data from the American Community Survey (ACS), administered by the U.S. Census Bureau, in their study. They said its large sample size — 3 million homes a year — made it a better tool than the Current Population Survey, which surveys just 100,000.

With the data, they studied the effects of 51 minimum wage changes in 750 counties in 45 states between 2004 and 2016. Increases in the minimum wage in “high-exposure areas” — places where many employees work minimum-wage jobs and are thus particularly affected by changes — lead to higher wages without “a corresponding reduction in employment or hours,” the study authors wrote.

Raising wages in these low-income areas also led to a decline in household and child poverty. “Our estimates suggest a 10% increase in the minimum wage would reduce household poverty rates by 0.7 to 0.9 percentage points in the highest impact areas,” Godoey said.

Another recent study showed a similar result. In February 2018, the London School of Economics released research that examined minimum wage changes in the U.S. between 1979 and 2016. That study concluded that minimum wage increases did not significantly change the number of low-wage jobs.