Friday, December 29, 2017

Polyamory - Going open into the 21st century



The point of the story is note a light starting up going to the 21st century
a social change going on or a new world of psychology.
Being real about each other having a normality without the deviancy.
To respect or care about, equally, support as a extended family.
A perfect foundation for all realistically!

It's time to grow up and in polyamorous terms open the box and let it out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6eItTQ6G-U

This is about growing up accepting what is good for you and all as a whole as 
we all are not islands. Building a foundation, trust, love making a better life!

Like climbing up a cliff, it's worth it in the end knowing you have many people

there supporting you. Knowing climbing a cliff takes work from all.
Something to think about! Knowing your wife is on top of the cliff and she is
supported by all is worth a lot! Like her significant others and husband are her
safety-net so she able to go farther and higher with no worry!

She can't make it there if someone drops out!

As the point is about her as a person on how the support makes her
a better person making all better loosing nothing but gaining more before
she turns 70! Life is short, getting older is no fun!

"Elisabeth Sheff, a sociologist who interviewed 40 polyamorous people over the course

of several years for her recent book, The Polyamorists Next Door, says that
polyamorous configurations with more than three people tend to be rarer and have
more turnover. “Polys” are more likely to be liberal and educated, she said, and in the
rare cases that they do practice religion, it’s usually paganism or Unitarian Universalism."
http://docdestructo62.tumblr.com/post/92678464529/multiple-lovers-without-jealousy

"It actually adds value to our lives to be in a relationship with other people,"

Sheila explains. "I've seen positive outcomes from my husband being with
someone who makes him happy. For me it's a win-win.
http://www.essence.com/2016/03/01/real-couples-pull-back-covers-their-open-marriage

The view is like group therapy in a way and there is gold at the end!

When you love someone it's there and they are worth it!
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dn3VQEvpJ68

Reflecting from the 1970's the movie, "Collective Marriage."
The light to respecting the wife's needs. And points to the need to
understand and to be open talk about being jealous. It's ok!
"A married couple is having sexual difficulties. The husband acquiesces in his wife's having a lover who visits her every Friday. The lover participates in a collective living arrangement, where sex as well as household chores are shared. Thinking that they will benefit from a similar scheme, the couple starts their own collective. However, the wife dislikes it when her husband begins to spend time with a younger woman in the collective, and the collective frowns on her having an outside relationship (her Friday lover)."
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0215633

People do have needs to balance their life and in these days times are changing
and times are getting balanced. In the western days in some women had hysteria.
Now is seems women have hysteria and do nothing about it they make it
their lifestyle. Even it's noted even cave women had lovers being it gave her
protection, more food and all around better life vs the times.
It's wired into their nature. They had to reproduce or die of extinction.

This is also reflecting of the ALPHA female today in trait. The cavewoman acted 
upon and took care of her needs.  An ALPHA would require more than one person,
as she is ALPHA and in view a taller woman being it would be needed for two males
to stand on shoulders to get up to her level. More than one by trait and is ok!
It is best to team up on a ALPHA being the higher level of being one. 
More support is needed and should be understood because of the trait. 
 "A study has found evidence of ‘alpha cave women’ 
roaming the plains and calling the shots while the menfolk slobbed at home."
http://blogs.plos.org/retort/2011/06/02/great-moments-in-science-writing-the-alpha-cavewoman-fiasco

Also a three is good for the female being the support but also in the decision
making of the family relating to the cavewoman calling the shots in the past.
"In fact if the wife gets a lover and grooms him into her 
second husband she would be the boss as the two husbands decision making 
in the family would be canceled out as one husband might decide on ( - ) as 
the other goes ( + ) this ( = 0 ) so the wife decides for progress and no pain!"
http://walmartramen.blogspot.com/2017/04/dating-married-lady-and-caught-in-middle.html

But the point is what people think or know about the past can
be like a coloring book when looking at what really was going on.
Like finding out Hoover wore a dress and about the Coolidge effect etc...
And the 60's the push for rights with "Free Love!" People having many wives
in the Bible times give women where property and came with the house back then,
if you had many houses you had many wives.

Humans behave badly. Well if we did not we all would not of been here today!

We would of been eaten by a saber tooth tiger because there would of been
more of them than us. It was a race back then to populate! We won!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_love

Being Real, Polyandry Is Actually Way More Popular Than Anthropologists Have Led Us to Believe. https://walmartramen.blogspot.com/2019/04/being-real-polyandry-is-actually-way.html

Then you look into Havelock Ellis and his marriage.

"In November 1891, at the age of 32, and reportedly still a virgin, Ellis married the
English writer and proponent of women's rights, Edith Lees. From the beginning, their
marriage was unconventional, as Edith Lees was openly lesbian.
At the end of the honeymoon, Ellis went back to his bachelor rooms in Paddington.
She lived at Fellowship House. Their "open marriage" was the central subject in Ellis's
autobiography, My Life."

"According to Ellis in My Life, his friends were much amused at his being considered an

expert on sex. Some knew that he suffered from impotence until the age of 60.
He then discovered that he could become aroused by the sight of a woman urinating.
Ellis named this "undinism". After his wife, Edith Lees, died, Ellis formed a relationship
with a French woman called Françoise Lafitte."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Havelock_Ellis

Bertrand Russell also had connections with Lady Ottoline Morrell,

the actress Lady Constance Malleson and Vivienne Haigh-wood.
"He soon fell in love with the puritanical, high-minded Alys, who was a graduate
of Bryn Mawr College near Philadelphia, and, contrary to his grandmother's wishes,
married her on 13 December 1894. Their marriage began to fall apart in 1901
when it occurred to Russell, while he was cycling, that he no longer loved her.
She asked him if he loved her and he replied that he didn't.

Russell also disliked Alys's mother, finding her controlling and cruel.
It was to be a hollow shell of a marriage and they finally divorced in 1921,
after a lengthy period of separation.
During this period, Russell had passionate (and often simultaneous) affairs with
a number of women, including Lady Ottoline Morrell and the actress
Lady Constance Malleson. Some have suggested that at this point he had an affair 
with Vivienne Haigh-Wood, the English governess and writer, and first wife of 
T. S. Eliot. 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bertrand_Russell#University_and_first_marriage

"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the 

things you have long taken for granted."

"The secret of happiness is this: let your interests be as wide as possible,
and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you be as far
as possible friendly rather than hostile."

Also noted, the life changing read of the Chapters.
The Conquest of Happiness (1930) is a book by Bertrand Russell.
http://russell-j.com/beginner/COH-TEXT.HTM

Lady Ottoline Morrell:

"In February 1902, she married the MP Philip Morrell, with whom she shared a
passion for art and a strong interest in Liberal politics. They shared what would
now be known as an open marriage for the rest of their lives."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_Ottoline_Morrell

Lady Constance Malleson:

"During the First World War, her pacifist opinions brought her into contact with
Bertrand Russell, whose mistress she soon became
(having agreed with her husband on an "open marriage").
In 1923, she was divorced from Malleson. Her interest in social reform led her
to travel abroad, and she carried out lecture tours in Scandinavia in the
1930s and 1940s."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_Constance_Malleson

Vivienne Haigh-Wood:
Haigh-Wood met Eliot in Oxford in March 1915, while he was studying philosophy at Merton College and she was working as a governess in Cambridge. They were married in Hampstead Register Office three months later. They remained married until her death in 1947, but Haigh-Wood's poor physical and mental health, and Eliot's apparent intolerance of it, produced a stormy relationship, made worse by her apparently having an affair with the philosopher Bertrand Russell.
Eliot arranged for a formal separation in February 1933, and thereafter shunned her entirely, hiding from her and instructing his friends – including members of the Bloomsbury Group and the publisher Faber & Faber, where he was a director – not to tell her where he was. Her brother had her committed to an asylum in 1938, after she was found wandering the streets of London at five o'clock in the morning, apparently asking whether Eliot had been beheaded. Apart from one escape attempt, she remained there until she died nine years later at the age of 58; she was said to have suffered a heart attack, although there is a suspicion that she took an overdose. Eliot won the Nobel Prize for Literature the following year.

Carole Seymour-Jones writes that it was out of the turmoil of the marriage that Eliot produced The Waste Land, one of the 20th century's finest poems. Eliot's sister-in-law, Theresa, said of the relationship: "Vivienne ruined Tom as a man, but she made him as a poet."

*Note Russell in view was her therapist keeping her together.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vivienne_Haigh-Wood

Einstein admitted he spent time with six other women while married. Poly 6 times!

http://walmartramen.blogspot.com/2015/11/einstein-and-polyamory.html
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/13804030/ns/technology_and_science-science/t/new-letters-shed-light-einsteins-love-life

And Catherine The Great having 22 male lovers during her long life.

She was partial to handsome young men. She died in her bed, after a stroke.
It's just a matter what part of reality offends people, or knowing how short life is,
or that others are needed for others!
What part of the 22 male lovers supporting her, making her "The Great"
is not understood?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legends_of_Catherine_the_Great

Bob Marley had a open marriage.

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/02/books/marley-s-ghost.html

Sexuality of Abraham Lincoln?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexuality_of_Abraham_Lincoln

The respected push and effort for the times, showing the need to push on and proceed!

Oscar Wilde! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Oscar_Wilde
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oscar_Wilde

George Borrow? "Borrow depicts an old man (Taylor) and a young man (Borrow)

discussing the merits of German literature, including Goethe's  
The Sorrows of Young Werther. Taylor confesses himself to be no admirer of either  
The Sorrows of Young Werther or its author but nevertheless states.
It is good to be a German (for) the Germans are the most
philosophical people in the world."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Borrow

Hoover wore a dress! "Quoted Susan L. Rosenstiel, a former wife of Lewis S. Rosenstiel,

chairman of Schenley Industries Inc., as saying that in 1958, she was at a party at the
Plaza Hotel where Hoover engaged in cross-dressing in front of her then-husband and
Roy Cohn, former counsel to Senator Joe McCarthy."
http://historynewsnetwork.org/article/814

Also "For example, on June 13, 1958, the head of the Washington field office informed

Hoover that, prior to marrying a member of Congress, the member’s wife had been
“having an affair with a Negro [and] also at one time carried on an affair with a
House Post Office employee.” More recently, the report said, the congressman’s wife
“endeavored to have an affair with [an] Indonesian, who declined.”
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/08/02/fbi-director-hoover-s-dirty-files-excerpt-from-ronald-kessler-s-the-secrets-of-the-fbi.html

Calvin Coolidge, (The Coolidge Effect?)

Behavioral endocrinologist Frank A. Beach first mentioned the term
"Coolidge effect" in publication in 1955, crediting one of his students with
suggesting the term at a psychology conference. He attributed the neologism to:
an old joke about Calvin Coolidge when he was President The President and
Mrs. Coolidge were being shown [separately] around an experimental
government farm. When [Mrs. Coolidge] came to the chicken yard she noticed
that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that
happened and was told, "Dozens of times each day." Mrs. Coolidge said,
"Tell that to the President when he comes by." Upon being told, the President 
asked, "Same hen every time?" The reply was, "Oh, no, Mr. President, 
a different hen every time." President: "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect

It's all nothing new from the past, we grew up about it and now we are moving ahead.
Facts are facts times are changing. Like women getting the right to vote and now.

Also it's like growing up, like the life changing times of picking up your date on a

riding lawn mower and her understanding because she is broke herself.
So there is no stress of a first date!

Being Polyamory is overall the best for kids in a Poly family.

There is more income coming into the family, support more watching
eyes for the kids no abuse as one or the other would stop it.
A safety shell for kids being the more than one in the household.
Over time the trust the kid has to talk about issues depending on one
parent or another of issue the kid has.

And in all that the kid when he grows up and learns / wakes up about what

was going on more likely will see how he was raised supported more than many
other kids where.

And from my time I spent in hotels I have a few stories or heard a few from others,
shows life from the 90's! It's a funny hidden world.

Also noted now like some stories that where on CNN.
Smart people have a grip probably more than they did in the 90's.
"For the monthly Bronze Party" Oklahoma had their "Concord Club"
in the 90's I found out about in when I worked in hotels, it was just too
funny for the time. Everyone was going nuts like that in 1999 into 2000,
hotels where the playground for the rich at that time.

I thought about looking to see what was going on at the "Concord Club"
but really what if you see someone you know? Well what would you do?
That was in the 90's and now for the CNN story running shows the times
are getting out of the dark!

Even Korea legalized adultery! I'm not surprised my college friend
had a hagwon job there in the 90's he told me some stories
about life in Korea. Koreans tend to not suppress themselves.
I guess they hear about what it is like in the North and for the South
their freedom from being told what to do is more valued than being
locked up. http://www.cnn.com/2015/02/26/asia/south-korea-adultery

Also noted by a art park called "Sex Land" Human behavior accepted.

http://www.windsorstar.com/health/photo+gallery+jeju/8288710/story.html

And the Khajuraho Temples!

"It is believed that the erotic sculptures, amongst them nymphs, with their
sensuous poses and pouting expressions are a way of giving importance to
wellbeing and love of life."
https://theculturetrip.com/asia/india/articles/a-catalogue-of-desire-the-erotic-sculptures-of-the-khajuraho-temples

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qU9PfMlWesQ 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwb2J44NuTo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Aej9wmoQ7M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2QDXVY_Ozo

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLceEzjybohu7InlcJLKqAzYLXcxgjSui3

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrpUKF87ojhzmV4uVNNyGAA


If you are in a long term marriage or relationship in term it's like fixing a inbreeding

issue. The longer it is the less diverse it is and more of the same, same it is
like inbreeding but as others are added to the chromosome mix it makes
all less sickly and stronger as a whole!

Some people are right and some are not for an open marriage, Polyamory.
If one is driven by the sex of it and not being emotionally supportive,
long term lover in view for all involved, the trust would fail.

Being like a lack of maturity about it. It's about her balance in view.

If she is happy then the others involved are happy also. 

Being open in the light you have nothing to hide, so in that there is less stress,
as all would be open and communicate about it for positive growth.

Also communication is needed, you are this to her and she is this to you etc.
Who is who to who. But the point is to be supportive without, negativity!
No hedonism! What kind of life do you want in the dark unknown?

Well be true about it, ask do you have a secret affair??????????????????

http://i.imgur.com/duXNC.jpg (Warning!)

Or do you go Polyamory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://thefederalist.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/shutterstock_62663593-998x737.jpg

Because it's best to be open about it in the first place! The Housewife Who Hid Her Lover In The Attic For Over A Decade!

https://walmartramen.blogspot.com/2018/10/the-housewife-who-hid-her-lover-in.html

Focus on the growth for each other, and talk about it to each other.
What is the positive factor for each person.

It's like a 90's type group therapy where you sit around and talk

on the positive and negative so you know what needs to be fixed.
Who, needs who to who or what! The growth of that is the fun part!
Changing, adapting is a beautiful thing toward the ones you love!
For everyone to say we all love you as a group is very supportive to all!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Group_psychotherapy

And there is real Psychotherapy for Polyamorous relationships.

And this is a growing change in psychotherapy!
http://openingup.net/open-list
http://www.lovemore.com/whydonate/polyamory-professionals
http://www.lifeworkspsychotherapy.com/who-we-serve/polyamory-non-monogamy
http://charlieglickman.com/2010/12/29/polyamory-psychotherapy-group-forming
https://www.indigomentalhealth.com/counseling-polyamorous-relationships
https://polycounsellinguk.wordpress.com/members
http://www.awakening360.com/event/214

Just remember no matter where you go there you are!

(And here we are for you to support you!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv_jkju_iZg

I have to note "Research by Geneviève Beaulieu-Pelletier, who studies relationships

and infidelity at the University of Montreal, estimates that the chances of someone
cheating while in a committed relationship range from 46% to 76%."

And the heat is on. Under pressure that lid will blow! And I worry about that,

as the rate goes up to 80% or is at 80% in Oklahoma? It's a red-state, in the dark!

Dealing with jealousy is the building factor in the relationship.

That is the thing that all sits and talks about. Fixing and healing makes better.
It's like taking a test you can't take the test if you don't have the test!
And if it's there it needs to be talked about no matter of past issues
or whatever it was. Everyone needs to look at this in the light of a new day!

POLYSINGLEISH.COM/TAG/MARRIED AND DATING

GRACIEX.COM~~POLYAMORY----( YOUTUBE )
LOVEMORE.COM~~POLYAMORY
POLYAMORY.ORG~~POLYAMORY
POLYINFO.ORG~~POLYAMORY
YOURTANGO.COM/POLYAMORY
POLYAMORYSOCIETY.ORG~~POLYAMORY
POLYWEEKLY.COM~~POLYAMORY
MULTIAMORY.COM~~POLYAMORY
POLYAMORYONPURPOSE.COM~~POLYAMORY
POLYINTHEMEDIA.BLOGSPOT.COM~~POLYAMORY
POLYEVENTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
BLOG.LOVEOUTSIDETHEBOX.COM~~POLYAMORY
ROLEREBOOT.ORG~~LADIES REALLY NEED TO TALK
POLYFOR.US~~POLYAMORY
REDTHREADFARM.COM~~POLYAMORY
POLYFAMILIES.COM~~POLYAMORY
MORETHANTWO.COM~~POLYAMORY
OKPOLYNETWORK.COM~~POLYAMORY
REDDIT.COM/R/POLYAMORY~~POLYAMORY
GOODTHERAPY.ORG~~ISSUES POLYAMORY
MEDIUM.COM~~ADVICE FROM A POLYAMOROUS MONOGAMIST
PATHEOS.COM~~POLYAMOROUS SHE LOVES AND LIVES
THEFEDERALIST.COM~~IS NEXT AND IM ONE REASON WHY
PSYCHOLOGYTODAY.COM~~OPEN MARRIAGES SOMETIMES WORK
BBC.COM~~THE FUTURE OF LOVE
THEATLANTIC.COM~~MULTIPLE LOVERS NO JEALOUSY
SCIENTIFICAMERICAN.COM~~SEXUAL REVOLUTION POLYAMORY
LIVESCIENCE.COM~~MYTHS ABOUT POLYAMORY
EN.WIKIPEDIA.ORG/WIKI/POLYAMORY
POLYADVOCACY.CA~~CANADA
OKCUPID.COM/TESTS/THE POLYAMOROUS TEST

SALON.COM~~SOLVING POLYAMORYS JEALOUSY PROBLEM

PSYCHOLOGYTODAY.COM~~POLYAMORY WITHOUT TEARS
POLYFOR.US/HOW TO MAKE JEALOUSY WORK FOR YOU
POLYAMORYONLINE.ORG/EMOTIONS.HTML
POLYADVENTURES.COM~~COMMON MISTAKES
GRACIEX.COM~~4 STEPS TO BUILDING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
PATHEOS.COM~~DEALING WITH JEALOUSY
THEATLANTIC.COM~~MULTIPLE LOVERS NO JEALOUSY
POLYAMOROUSMISANTHROPE.COM~~ABANDONMENT ISSUES

POLYAMORYONLINE.ORG~~PARENTING

PSYCHOLOGYTODAY.COM~~POLYAMORY AND CHILDREN
NCSFREEDOM.ORG~~POLYAMORY COMMENITY
VICE.COM~~I GREW UP IN A POLYAMOROUS HOUSEHOLD
WALMARTRAMEN.BLOGSPOT.COM~~POLYAMORY

EN.WIKIPEDIA.ORG/WIKI/OPENNESS TO EXPERIENCE~~OPENNESS
POSITIVELYPREAENT.COM~~ARE YOU OPEN
PSYCHOLOGIES.CO.UK~~LET YOUR GUARD DOWN BE MORE OPEN
SUCCEEDSOCIALLY.COM~~DEFENSIVE
COUNSELING.UFL.EDU~~BECOMING OPEN TO OTHERS
YOURTANGO.COM~~IMPORTANCE-OPENING RELATIONSHIPS
EHARMONEY.CO.UK~~GET YOUR PARTNER TO OPEN UP
MULYIAMORY.COM~~HOW TO TALK TO SPOUSE
POLYWEEKLY.COM~~HOW TO BRING UP
NFED.ORG~~HELPING RELATIONSHIPS
TOHELPORNOT.COM~~HELPING RELATIONSHIPS
CCEF.ORG/SCHOOL/COURSES/HELPING-RELATIONSHIPS
IMFED.ORG~~THEORY AND PRACTICE
GO-GET.ORG/EFFECT.HTML
SOCWORK.NET~~HELPING RELATIONSHIPS
EN.WIKIPEDIA.ORG/WIKI/THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP

Why have her blow her lid? Growth and support is needed!
A wife blowing her lid like that more likely won't happen if her two partners 
are hugging her now don't you think! Also stops any kind of abuse as the two 
are for her needs, and one or the other would put a stop to any abuse!
http://newsok.com/elementary-school-counselor-suspended-with-pay-during-investigation/article/5448874
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/okla-woman-ran-killed-husband-fight-cops-article-1.2227579

Inflammatory or not I have to say it being not only to the fact Oklahoma is 

against it's own people but Oklahoma puts pressure on people so being 
unsupported in Oklahoma is norm "mental illness" is norm in Oklahoma. 
If you are not from Oklahoma and you meet the locals you will see it!
But the point is to ask if the lady that drove her car into people at the  
Oklahoma State University’s homecoming parade had been supported. 
Don't you think this would of never happened as her partners would be 
supporting her. She would of drove her car into the garage door to have 
threesome with her partners not drive into people killing them! 
I am talking about Oklahoma with unsupported people. Bad as it sounds you
need to look at how life is in Oklahoma for women to see what I am saying!
It's like a make love not war sort of thing I am saying! What is the cost of war?! 
http://newsok.com/article/5428983

http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/10/26/us-oklahoma-crash-idUSKCN0SJ0MS20151026  


You see the good in meeting the Healer in your life!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANh3BjG4Oxg

Growth and support as in accepting where the relationship is in your life

and how to fix the bad. Being married for a long time, can be like the saying
people in hell want want ice water and how long is the waiting going to be?
"Partners in these relationships need to look at all the things they've wanted 
to do in life but haven't, because it didn't fit their stereotypes about themselves 
and their expectations about their partners. They need to learn to communicate 
at an emotional level, to disclose their feelings and listen to those of their partner. 
They may need to learn to work less and play more."
http://www.sonoma.edu/users/d/daniels/lynch.html

There is nothing more beautiful than supporting building trust in all

in a married women. To be taken home for that talk to build
a Tiny Gypsy house for her together. Building a relationship
together as all would be building it for her as all is for her, so
she can have her woman cave! It's the acceptance of everyone
together working it out for her best interest! Accepting the wife for
who she is so she can be herself!
http://walmartramen.blogspot.com/2015/09/accepting-your-wife-for-who-she-is.html

Also a wife has the right to put on the pants on in the family to get her happiness!

A wife taking over and saying "I'm getting a boyfriend dammit" is gold!
"There's something burning in the air!" Unhappy Woman! 

And that is a good point growth! "We're not trying to say that monogamy is bad,"

said Billy Holder, a 36-year-old carpenter who works at a university in Atlanta.
"We're trying to promote the fact that everyone has a right to develop a relationship
structure that works for them."
http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/26/living/relationships-polyamory

There is the time in your youth where you are the hunter looking for love.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UV84qWEqGqE

But then there is the point where you grow up and take responsibility in love.

Being a player / hunter does not build trust in your partners.
The lack of openness is a trust killer. So it's about being open to each other.

Like being married but dating there will be a openness to each other

otherwise as shown in history the whole circle burns up.
Or the other partner dating the married knows the partner is
obligated to their partner as the dater is more likely also
obligated to their partner so the circle is strong.
There is a reason for those relationships it's not out of deviancy!

That is one of the healthy types of relationships because of the openness

and trust building it's a strong circle! When you are in a relationship like that.

The point is to support, care, normalize the partners.

Vs being a player where no one knows what is going on with the lack
of trust about it.

Significant others are called that because they are significant!
Or (y) makes (x) the other significant! Vice versa.

To be good for the other person and that is what matters, the balance!
You get a lot back in support. 

Also the openness stops the dark unknown of saying is my wife falling for the boss?
It would be unknown, so all in evolved would be going crazy in the dark.
Openness would stop that and make room for growth.

Also there is less of a fear of losing your wife if the other partner is a stable
lower income bracket, he would not be able to support her if they try to elope.
Less of a incentive to leave.

Or much like Quantum Entanglement!

"A physical phenomenon that occurs when pairs or groups of particles are generated
or interact in ways such that the quantum state of each particle cannot be described
independently instead, a quantum state may be given for the system as a whole."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_entanglement
http://walmartramen.blogspot.com/2015/08/quantum-entanglement-wedding.html

It's worth a try being open these days! This is just like the basis of Maslow,
in a changing time! Mostly like in the hierarchy of needs. If your needs are not met
like if your house is falling down, lack of food then your not able to get to the
self-actualization part of life so an open marriage would be not on your list.
So an open marriage is best when you are stable! Or being in a open marriage
makes you stable. Otherwise with no stable you would get user people and people
that are low as low is, trying to survive and would more likely not follow the rules etc.

There are too many broken wings! Why? People don't need to hurt!

You can love everyone, and I'm not talking about only sex!
A lovers connection emotionally, timing, supportive for all!
That is what is worth the most!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKhN1t_7PEY

It's all about support and learning you don't have to turn your back on people.

As in me I support me EX, I pay some of her bills, mow the grass help out,
to keep her from being a bag lady! But I also live elsewhere with a life
of my own. And it's ok in fact my EX wants me to find someone else.
And that shows there is a openness to point she wants the best for me.
And I want the best for her. So in a way there is support, in a poly format.

Yes I pay some of my EX wife's bills! I learned from relationship after

relationship there is really no reason to dump someone and walkaway!
If it does not work then you both know it does not work and you say
it's not working, and move the relationship to something like friends!
It's just a view point of not hating people letting go of the bad in your
past relationships and being fair to each other!

I had a past lady love that barfed on the first date and took me to a gay bar.

In high school I had a girlfriend that was a EX teen prostitute. Etc, Etc...
So you know, I know it's time to let it go and be fair to each other!
http://walmartramen.blogspot.com/2015/05/where-have-i-been-mirror-mirror.html

Another issue is if you have a soul-mate that is gay! Polyamory!

All could be together supporting each other!
Again it's a matter to be open about it!
*If there is no growth for all happening then the party involved should all call it quits!
Balance is the point for all to benefit!

I heard from a few that found out that their parents had an open marriage.
As in when they did their family history and found oops, the tree breaks off
and goes to another tree! That is nothing new!

Also even in the country club there is a little black book in the banquet department
in the back of the file cabinet. "Rules of Engagement" It is there in case a worker
gets hooks up with a married rich lady etc there. I know I read it when I worked at
a country club. I was shagged by no one there I guess the boss saw me as prime and
got nervous letting me read the book just in case . It is just rules like don't have sex in
the closet, not on the *golf cart. (*Heard a funny story can't say here!). etc.

In other words if it happens keep it there don't take it to work with you.
Why? When you add up all the income the people have that goes to a country club
it would be well over a billion dollars and you would have to protect that.

The rules would be to keep the couple from rocking the boat making the other
rich people jump ship. Where I worked they did not frown about a worker 
hooking up if it wasn't going to blow up bad, if it was a fire they would put it out!
They would let you know what not to do!

With the time I spent in the hotel working

I know about married rich people as in the wife going to Hedonism II
with the husband knowing and glad because the wife is stabilized after.
Really it's true go secretly ask them! 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonism_Resorts

I knew a worker there that went to Hedonism II with a lady every year.
I guess it was viewed as him being like her therapist, once a year, month, etc.
It's called a "vacation buddy" I think. The lover would get a airplane ticket in the mail
to meet up with his lover at her vacation time.

That was how it worked in that case where I worked. In the Hotel world it's not
surprising, we live in America and there is a pursuit of happiness here!
If you would ask any worker they would agree!

In 2012 a "Brazilian public notary Claudia do Nascimento Domingues set off a
firestorm by granting Brazil's first civil union to a trio, an act so unprecedented
that there isn't a word for it in Portuguese."

Also in 2005 the same a trio! "in the Netherlands polygamy has been 
legalized in all but name. Last Friday the first civil union of three partners 
was registered. Victor de Bruijn (46) from Roosendaal “married” 
both Bianca (31) and Mirjam (35) in a ceremony before a notary who 
duly registered their civil union."

And in a new age (old age it's been around a while) the bizarre things like
reincarnation etc. The red string of fate, that I see as real noted in my life.
http://walmartramen.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-red-string-of-fate.html
Strange connections are out there can't say their not!

So really suppression in the past is like staying in the dark ages,
sinking in the pit of your misery. People get tired of that!
I guess it's like people wake up and realize they don't need to be in hell.
Give it like better education to be like adults about it.

It is long over due to come out of the dark! The days of  hedonism is ending!

You need to look at it with the light on Humanistic psychology.
Humanist Approach, Self-Actualization, McKenna!
http://walmartramen.blogspot.com/2015/05/humanist-approach-concept-of-humanity.html

More pointed to Maslow in relating to peak experiences in everyone's life as shared.

When looking at the lack of it, you see the need as we all are human.
Like climbing up a cliff, it's a peak experience.

As a group together sharing the peak experience long term would be valuable

as all, for all, projecting into a open marriage or polyamory for a better life.
And it is the same but long term, it's like hiking up a mountain
and it's worth it in the end!

Peak experiences describe moments accompanied by a euphoric mental state

often achieved by self-actualizing individuals. The concept was originally developed by
Abraham Maslow in 1964, who describes peak experiences as rare, exciting, oceanic,
deeply moving, exhilarating, elevating experiences that generate an advanced form of
perceiving reality, and are even mystic and magical in their effect upon the experimenter."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peak_experience

All of those actions in that light have a purpose, like gong for the pursuit of happiness
not the pursuit of unhappiness! And not accepting others keeping you there in your
unhappiness. Having normality without the deviancy and growing up!

Both parties need to communicate and they need to be real! If someone loves a 
married woman and she loves him back as she keeps checking out his package
like she works at the post office then they do need to communicate.
Actions are the real words, blah, blah is just blah but if she keeps looking at him
and he keeps looking at her, then all need to get it over with and talk,
actions is the heart of the matter. Both need to communicate their actions!
Every guy had a few that checked them out at work. (Thank you!)

It's human nature like going back to the cave woman! 
Sometime those words "Walk with me" will have to pop up. 
And again you will have to be real communicate be honest and let 
them know your long term / stable to the end of time.
Grab him by the hand and take him home if you have to. 
Men tend to be clueless!

Also who ever loves who, that is the normality and worth it's weight, Valued!
"Both parties in a successful marriage are able to give and receive communication 
from their spouse on any subject."

"Life is miserable if you have no one to openly communicate with. Friendships are based 
on communication. The lack of friends or a spouse to communicate with often leads to 
mental problems." Don't keep it buried it's not worth it!
http://www.tipsforsuccess.org/communicate.htm

No communication sinks your ship. Anyone not on your ship does not care,

they might talk bad about you but it's a fad it will go away and all you have 
is your sunk ship! What is your happiness worth unhappiness?

"JOSEPH CONRAD, TYPHOON"

What from the magnitude of the shock might have been a column of water
upright in the dark butted against the ship, broke short and fell on her 
bridge crushingly, from on high, with a dead burying weight. 
A flying fragment of that collapse, a mere splash,
enveloped them in one swirl from their feet over their heads, 
filling violently their ears, mouths, and nostrils with salt water. 
It knocked out their legs, wrenched in haste at their arms, seethed away 
swiftly under their chins; and opening their eyes they saw the
piled up masses of foam dashing to and fro amongst what looked like 
the fragments of a ship.

If it's a no go at least she knows you love her and you are there always to pick up 
the pieces of the ship and that is worth a lot also! And that's ok! You love who
you love regardless! She is loved regardless, she's loved!!!!

Many women are poly by nature in getting what they require emotionally!
It takes more men vs a woman to get balance, it's human nature.
And when you see her happy and her smile you will shit bricks!
http://i675.photobucket.com/albums/vv113/erick_nerites/WW_HC_Detail_by_AdamHughes.jpg

So whats the point? It's about a changing time. This story is like a bouncing ball
I have been chasing, catching up with the stuff going on and doing the story about it.
There are just too many things going on these days that are
just not being covered. In the light of a new Psychology about it and new
social changes surely coming the story is needed!

This story is to point to a mind blowing time for growth and humanity!
To be honest and true with each other! A start of a new day!

And when everyone connects, you will know in an instant! It's a change of life!
A change of life will do everyone good!

Life is too short to not be open. I am open so in my life I accept people
for who they are and expect them to be open to me. It's ok to talk about
things. I don't break up with my loves, they will have to break up with me.
I see relationships as long term. Yes I am Polyamorous!