Thursday, October 19, 2017

Samuel L Bronkowitz, getting along to Rock the Casbah

No matter how you see it love has no boundaries and so to note
why can't people get a long! Well really most do! Many see wars as
only a issue to others! Why not just send the presidents off to a island
to fight it out? Most worry about getting WiFi not a stupid war!

Noted like how Trump is pushing that fear!
"Radical Islamic terrorists are gathering strength. Christians are being executed en masses in the Middle East. Illegal immigrants lurk in the shadows. Gangs operate with impunity in our cities. The U.S. murder rate, the President falsely claims, “is the highest it’s been in 47 years.” Drugs are “pouring” across the border. “Bad people (with bad intentions)” are flooding through our airports."

Seems like Iraqi Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf (M.S.S.)
"The infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad...
Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected. Iraqis are heroes."

Really we are not going back to the 1950's with fear in some paranoid fashion.
It's time to get along as life is better doing so anyway! Grab life by the horns as
you know "No man is an island. No one is self-sufficient; everyone relies on others."
And you know that is better than being on a isolationist dating website.
Like being antisocial in a social world! Really it's not impressing anyone!

It's a time to get along! And for those out there you need to think about Trump
where did that order come from is it sane? Ignore alien orders!
( ( ( ) ) )

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Johnson a Walmart worker and Trumps insensitivity - Hate!

This is a insult to the family of Johnson and to his Walmart family!

Anyway you see it Trump showed his hatred... Well duh just look at him
a hateful man! Johnson was there for 2 days before they got him!

"Trump Told Wife of Slain Soldier, ‘He Knew What He Signed Up For,’ According to Congresswoman." What a thing to say to some one who has such a loss!

"I have proof, too: this man is a sick man," Wilson said Wednesday morning on CNN's "New Day," responding to Trump's tweet. She added that Johnson's widow "broke down" after her call with Trump, saying the President "didn't even know his name."

"The Pentagon has not provided a detailed accounting of the ambush by 50 ISIS affiliated fighters which left four US soldiers dead and two wounded and has said the incident remains under investigation. But CNN has talked to half a dozen US officials who describe details of the chaos and confusion which led to the troops being left on the ground for nearly an hour before help could get to the remote area of southwestern Niger where they were operating. In addition, officials still do not know how Johnson became separated from the party only for his body to be recovered nearly 48 hours later."

"Sergeant Johnson, 25, leaves behind two children, a 6-year-old daughter and a two-year-old son, and Myeshia is six months pregnant with their third child. Friends praised his dedication to his family, and the determination he showed in working his way from a job at Walmart to becoming a special operations soldier, fighting alongside Green Berets. He was a member of 5000 Role Models of Excellence Project, a mentorship program founded by Wilson, which set up a scholarship fund for his children."

Better or Worse? Worse!!!!

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Adjusted for inflation, minimum wage is worth less than 50 years ago

Poverty is poverty, they have no money to manage so helping them manage
their money is stupid as everything declines around them!

The buying power of wages are not keeping up enough. Also who has the money?
"Currently, the richest 1% hold about 38% of all privately held wealth in the
United States. while the bottom 90% held 73% of all debt. According to
The New York Times, the richest 1 percent in the United States now own
more wealth than the bottom 90 percent."

These things are not the settings for growth, there is no foundation for
the poor to do better. The wages have to go up. Up as in up not stagnant in
a state / town that has not been brought up yet. Small towns are small for a reason.
Make nothing, got nothing. Nothing is nothing... Poverty!

Small towns do feel inflation and is shown by places closing by the lack of
sales. Food stamp cuts also don't help as it gets passed on to business owners.
But all of this is a points to low buying power that keeps getting lower and lower!

"Despite periodic increases, the buying power of the federal minimum
wage hasn't kept up with inflation, according to the
Bureau of Labor Statistics. Data show that in 1968, the federal minimum was
equivalent to $10.90 in 2015 dollars, nearly $4 higher than today's rate."

So what is it as many that has only $3 remaining in their bank before payday!
The issue of minimum wage retirees out there. Always make the same pay and
retired on it... Never had growth to do better! Where are you going to be at when
you retire? Don't know? Too busy working hard at $8 after taxes living with no
AC all summer long can't afford the bill! UH, norm in small towns not brought up yet!

~~~~~Adjusted for inflation, the federal minimum wage is worth less than 50 years ago
Nearly even years after the federal minimum wage was raised to $7.25 an hour from $6.55, it has remained stagnant despite the increasingly heated debate over better pay and worker protections.

But that hasn't stopped Ken Weinstein from paying his workers more at his two restaurants in Pennsylvania, where the state minimum wage matches the federal floor.

Weinstein owns two Trolley Car Diners in Philadelphia, and decided two years ago to increase the minimum wage for his 75 employees to $8.50.

"It's a competitive thing — you certainly get better employees by paying them more," said Weinstein, who supports a $12 an hour federal minimum wage. "We have a stable workforce, and it's partly due to treating our employees well, and paying them more than our competitors."

Despite periodic increases, the buying power of the federal minimum wage hasn't kept up with inflation, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Data show that in 1968, the federal minimum was equivalent to $10.90 in 2015 dollars, nearly $4 higher than today's rate.

Across the country, 29 states and Washington, D.C., currently have wages above the federal floor, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures.

California and New York are set to soon have the highest minimum wages in the nation, after deals were struck by their governors to raise them to $15 an hour by 2022 and 2018, respectively, with slower increases for smaller businesses.

Many big cities from Los Angeles to Seattle have also independently hiked their local minimum wages.

The Obama administration has also taken some action on wages, with the Department of Labor enacting sweeping changes to overtime regulations. By December, more than 4 million salaried employees earning $23,660 to $47,476 annually will be eligible for overtime pay.

And over the past two years, major players including Target, Wal-Mart and Facebook have joined the wage fight, increasing pay for workers amid an ongoing battle over whether higher pay and benefits are better for businesses.

For higher-wage advocates, the momentum is a great start, but more work needs to be done.

"It's not acceptable," Holly Sklar, CEO of the advocacy group Business for a Fair Minimum Wage, said about the seven-year stretch at $7.25. "The whole point of the minimum wage is to have it go up regularly. It shouldn't sit still every year when the cost of living is going up. The minimum wage is losing value."

But not everyone on Main Street is ready to pay more. Opponents argue that mandating higher wages will hurt smaller companies that may not have the sales or support to take on the increase plus the added pressure and costs for other regulations, including health-care reform and overtime pay.

Members of the conservative lobbying group the National Federation of Independent Business have opposed wage increases at state and local levels in recent years, and are against hiking the federal minimum wage, said spokesman Jack Mozloom.

"Our members don't feel they can absorb the increase and the increases are unrelated to their businesses," Mozloom said. "Whether they have the sales to support higher labor costs is something politicians can't answer."

The idea that presidential candidates like Hillary Clinton would support raising wages as high as $15 an hour at the state and local levels is "very troubling for those in the Midwest and the South, where the cost of living is lower. That would hurt them," Mozloom said. Donald Trump has wavered on plans to enact a higher minimum wage, telling NBC in May that "states should decide" their own wages, for competitive reasons.

Weinstein disagrees with the notion that a federal minimum wage increase is bad for Main Street, and said higher wages haven't hurt his business. In fact, he's set to open up a third location next summer.

"If we all end up paying our employees more than we do now, they will have more money to spend at our businesses and products — there are benefits to area businesses," he said.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Why Do People Have Sex With Cars And the Keystone of Life

Paraphilia, fetishes are the keystone of life it makes you who you are.
It's ok to get your freak on, as long as it's not detrimental to self or
others property.

Acceptance is needed in relationships if you can't accept needs and desires of each other
then what kind of relationships is it? I accepted my ex girlfriends desires and needs.
That is a keystone of life. It makes her who she is!

Case in point in the 90's I had a 1982 white manual transmission Toyota corolla
when I worked at the Marriott. You have to know me at the time.
I guess I had a mystique about me.

We had a cater out so my car was still at work. My boss went back to the hotel to get
something and found a couple in my car. When he drove in he asked them WTF they
where doing they said something like nothing. They acted like they knew me and
being my mystique my boss said whatever and went on.

When my boss got back he told me what happened. I said what where they doing?
He told me the guy was in the passenger side and the lady was sitting in the middle
of the front seats. I have a manual transmission oh! My boss took me back and
sure enough the stick luckily smelled like fish and not... She had it up her... 
as my boss was talking to them! And so I got a car alarm with a pager after that!

Case in point have sex in or with your own car! Mechanophilia, ok but not my car!!!
No soup kitchen!!!!

~~~~~Why Do People Have Sex With Cars?
This week a man was filmed having sex with his car. While this might seem newsworthy in fact it’s a common enough happening that it has it’s own name. Mechanophilia is a subset of paraphilia. It’s all about loving objects sexually and many times emotionally too.

Paraphilia (also known as sexual perversion and sexual deviation) is the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, fetishes, situations, fantasies, behaviors, or individuals. No consensus has been found for any precise border between unusual sexual interests and paraphilic ones. There is debate over which, if any, of the paraphilias should be listed in diagnostic manuals, such as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) or the International Classification of Diseases (ICD).

Take this lady, a paraphilic, is in love with the Eiffel Tower.

But cars are an American fetish. The American car is an expression of power over practicality. We need and want to feel like we’re the most powerful thing on the road. But the leap to having sex with it is a complex one. Is it a disease or simply a fetish? There is case of the man who banged 1000 cars. He explains that car sex was a part of his sexual awakening. Now, each of us has surely had some association with our sexual coming of age that now informs our sex life. The question is really about whether or not the action is destructive or not. For this man, it has relieved as much sexual frustration as it causes.

Fucking your car is an apt metaphor for our moment in American history. The psycosexual fulfillment of late capitalism. The writer Harry Crews took it one step farther in his novel Car, loving the car so much that a character eats it.

“Why would I want . . . to . . . eat . . . a . . . car?” Herman said the words very slowly as though he might be tasting them.  “I can tell you.  The car is where we are in America.”  He paused again and said slowly, “I’m going to eat a car because it’s there.”
As we drift toward a more somber future people will no longer desire the machine, they will become the machine. Then we’re really in for a ride.

Car Bangers | Kids In The Hall by kidsinthehall

Normality, Psychosis, Butterscotch waterfall and Julio

Being that I was a psychology major for a long time
in the 90's, I took many classes and been in group talks
over many subjects, ending with the notion everyone has
their own type of normality.

Normality, Psychosis, Butterscotch waterfall and Julio? Go see the videos.

I really did not like the DSM's they seemed conservatarded even in the
90's the cure was pushed to drug, drug. I am a Humanistic Psychology type,
so my view is not good on how Psychology is in my state by the masses.
Is pushing the drugs greed? More exposing the problem in therapy is needed
than concealing it with medication.

More time in therapy needs to be spent in revealing than concealing!
"The foundation of genuine helping lies in being ordinary. Nothing special.
We can only offer ourselves, neither more nor less, to others we have in fact 
nothing else to give.Anything more is conceit; anything less is robbing those 
in distress. Helping demands wholeheartedness, but people find it hard to 
give of themselves to others. Why? In essence we are afraid to offer ourselves 
for fear we will prove insufficient, and if all that we have and are is not enough, 
what then? We are afraid to risk using simply our own warmth and caring, 
 and as a result the thousands of therapy techniques
which are becoming increasingly popular are intended to conceal 
rather than reveal."

Psychiatrist Allen Frances has been critical of proposed revisions
to the DSM-5. In a 2012 New York Times editorial, Frances warned that
if this DSM version is issued unamended by the APA, it will
“medicalize normality and result in a glut of unnecessary and harmful
drug prescription.” In a December 2, 2012 blog post in Psychology Today,
Frances lists the ten “most potentially harmful changes” to DSM-5:

It is the fact your degree is only valued on the paper it's printed on,
and the masses out there have Master hillbilly degrees in Psychology and
push such harmful resolve to drug the patient first, being how the 
pharmaceutical money flows they say "Your, stupid, your stupid!" 
if you go against the BS!

Or it could be the country thinking a Special kind of stupid, backward 
thinking, your smart and that makes you stupid. Your considerate so that 
makes you intrusive. Country thinking relating to their master degree at their 
redneck college they went to so they can say "I'm just as smart as you!" 
without being in the fire learning what is norm! In a high up judgmental 
position without being in life, in the real type life is stupid.

Sort of like doing your master's 
without a thesis then to pop up
like you are the smartest thing 
on the block in for it for the 
money. Doesn't make it so! It's 
like going to a "McDonald 
college" vs Berkeley. 

"Drag a hundred-dollar bill 
through a trailer park, you 
never know what you'll find." 
James Carville

Where is this going? Lets see where this goes and that is the point!
Usually one gets out in the world and sees what they learned is BS 
and learns better. Education starts after school, to see where it goes!

Your diploma is like a Olympic torch, it's a start of your education!
Like your drivers license, just because you have one doesn't mean you
know how to drive a car. You learn down the road!

I dated a lady hairdresser in the late 1990's that smoked weed and liked
to go at gay bars being she had a hard life and a death treat from a biker gang
and she felt safe at a gay bar that was her security. I'm not gay, she was not gay
it was her security to go there. On the first date at a nice restaurant she went 
to the bathroom and threw-up everywhere. Nervous, high etc she got sick, 
so I took that cougar back to her environment which was the gay bar and all 
was ok it's her normality there.

Also had a lady tell me "We like you." "My other personality likes you and I
trust her so I'm ok with it!" Also had a co-worker that had a 
Corpus Callosotomy done. With me all of those things I seen is called life 
experiences that I can relate by my education I had and seen this stuff with 
my own eyes and I recognize what that is.

To make anything of value you have to get out there and do it!
You can't win the lottery if you don't but a ticket!
Get yourself out of the dark ages, you can't see much in the dark!

My Psychology is from the 90' but all relates to the now.
Pointless over internet use is an addiction and paranoia on who says what
about you on Facebook is all the same as it ever was, it never will change.

This story is not meant to be inflammatory just point noted factual because
patients are human not zombies needing medication. I do say we need more
Humanistic Psychology these days. Medicines are needed but to cure not deal 
with it, unless you are in that state of pure hell in that case you might need to 
be on such medication to nock off that top a bit.

There are other ways of getting a cure like Psychedelic Therapy. It would be 
the shock to cure many without the life time of Medicines. It's worth looking at 
when looking at the way life is for many with the current mindset of 
psychology today!

So what is normal? It's just to the fact of if people call you crazy then the 
judgement of such is noted to be an issue of how educated the people around 
you are. A norm in LA is not the norm in Alabama! People that call others crazy 
in a bad way, don't understand life themselves.

But also normal should not be detrimental for ones self in the reasoning of their
self image reflecting their place in the world. Have you ever been to some town
and ran across those few people that dress up like a Pirate, a guy in a dress or
a 40 year old Gothic lady. Every town has someone, but the point is what is
behind it. Is it to get attention? A stagnate mindset not willing to grow out of it.
A guy in a dress might be stressed to be who he is, not willing to make it happen
because the operation cost too much or other factors.
So in what case it might be the point is to ask what is behind it, why do you do
the things you do! It's ok to do them but to know if it's not detrimental to you!

~~~~~Because the more life goes on, the more “normal” feels out of reach.
So I’ve chosen to accept the unconventional and actually feed off of it.
No one needs to approve of my life but me.
Yes, at times I have to remind myself of the benefits of the unbeaten path,
but I’ve given myself the freedom to create my own “normal.” 
And you know what? It has helped me live in the moment, embrace opportunity, 
and accept what is. I’m listening to myself – not the “shoulds” about the life 
I want to lead. To be clear, I’m not against the normal life by any means.
I’m sure one day I’ll be in a version of it myself.  But I do want to emphasize 
that in reality, there is no normal life. There is just life. 
 And I am sure as hell living it!

"Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to 
that commitment by removing impossible obstacles. Dream the impossible dream 
and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up. This is the trick. 
This is what all these teachers and philosophers who really counted, 
who really touched the alchemical gold, this is what they understood. 
This is the shamanic dance in the waterfall. This is how magic is done. 
By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering it's a feather bed."
Terence McKenna

"Feeling unstable having crazy thoughts testing your limitations all the time."
Is growth it's a part in your life finding who you are.
It's finding out your normality was never normal in the first place.
So you push on to find out your own self!

Friday, October 13, 2017

The Conservatard Won!

Well you can't have the good without the bad!
Being Trump won I do need to advise because there is a need to

Stupidity is not a point of view. Well you don't want stupid people
voting for stupid so they will cut off their leg to save their toe
because they where fear mongered by Fox News and fell for the BS!
I like my legs so their point of view is stupid and not respected!

As in the point they never ask why! Why did it happen? Must be some
reason. We might want to find out so it doesn't happen again.
No! They watch Fox news as they talk about something but never ask
why did it happen!

Along with Trump comes the cultic regimes, the holly rollers pushing
to go back back to the dark ages. Dark not because it was dark being they
never ask why it was dark, no it's a lack of enlightenment.
Dark is stupid and easy to control! If you don't know what you are doing
then others will decide for you! But pushing their dark ages when they
can't even follow their own rules in the first place is stupid!
Render to Caesar but has a tax exemption. Follow the rules because
they have to! Romans 13! No they put their fingers in their ear and pretend
they didn't hear!

Separation of church and state? The first amendment "Congress shall make no
law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof"

Treaty of Tripoli? "Art. 11. As the Government of the United States of America is not,
in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity
against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Mussulmen (Muslims); and as the said States
never entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mahometan (Mohammedan)
nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall
ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries."

No they are cultic regimes because they don't follow their own rules
and live out of reality! Can't follow the rules? They make up their own rules!
Saddlebacking... The Bible loophole?

There is now a backward thinker in office, well his polices are
backward. Take away, take away. Getting rid of ObamaCare,
Gay rights and others worked at and gained. Now Reductionist values
taking away!

It's like getting rid of NASA just because of a fire in APOLLO 1!
Well with no more preexisting conditions covered that is a 50 million uninsured
hit. And this points to people wanting to get rid of ObamaCare as the same
"We don't care about the uninsured." Too stupid to know someone has to pay
for that as all things are connected. Preexisting is staying but that is not the issue.

Also medicines will go up in price as no ObamaCare to keep the price down.
I do guess at 200 million uninsured as it goes UN-affordable and dumped for
bigger paychecks. There are 180 million working class people with insurance.
There will be a big drop because of needing better pay pulling others down
with them as the cost of the uninsured cost! And the lack of affordable
medicines as ObamaCare is not there to keep the prices low!

Pay also will be expected to stagnate and lower as Trump wants to
get rid of minimum wage Or not but most Republicans fight all wage growth so...
Along with tax cuts. This helps the rich but not, as less taxes is less food stamps and
government programs being the rich don't use those programs.
And the poor takes in more tax dollars than they pay out in taxes.
I expect tax returns of $30+ but $200+ losses in food stamps and help.
Added to the lack of pay and healthcare will be more
poverty. Medical bills put people into poverty and along with low pay less help.
The labor force is in jeopardy long term. It's about the workers going unsupported
also reflecting the lack of sales.

It's like a bunch of conservatards expecting people to lower their standard
to live with no AC like they do. The Government being run like a small
town government... Make nothing, have nothing! So expect less!

Trumps Vice is a holy roller, so in that will be more religious junk
where is should not be! Attacks on Gay rights and more seen as not
holy roller! Many are protesting now anyway. And have the view or like
the NAZIS going against the Jews. Now Mexicans, Muslims, Gays!
And note that is not a issue to Democrats, being afraid of those people,
it's seen as a paranoid issue or a point for fear mongering of the
conservative media!

Also noted Trump blames the media for a lot of fact checking as it seems
facts are the cure for fear mongering. The media is a global community
and it is not ok with fear mongering. Fear is control.
And with no media is like no education and more clueless people not
knowing what is going on. That also is being controlled not knowing! 

Being a isolationist without media / community is on the same point
like Hitler killing the Jews because the media / community not knowing!
Knowing what is going action would of been taken sooner!

I get a lot of concern from women being the sexist remarks Trump has made
and in his past they fear more of the same in others! It's like their abusive husband
is now in power, it's not a healthy mindset for women right now!

True Most Republicans are homophobic!
But noted are closet homosexuals themselves as the vote for people that fuck
them up the ass. Why do they vote against themselves with a family needing...
It's bad and shown by their voting habits! Absexual!

Also Republicans like to cut education anyway they can. I do look for more of that,
now will a full house of Conservatards! For schools be aware of more cut programs,

I expect for me I will be busy this year. But Trump is unpredictable so...
All I can say is expect more fights in government and protest as people
start loosing their rights. Poverty as people will no longer be able to get
help from the government being the low taxes and peoples low pay.
More fear mongering to control people and they will fall for it!

Trump going after ISIS and the cost of war as we all will have to pay for it
and not by the poor paying less taxes because they make nothing to be taxed.
But the cost will more likely pulled from non rich programs. Food stamps etc cuts.
Also the lack of help getting ISIS as the Muslim view grows out of Americas
mistreatment of Muslims and xenophobia viewed by the amount of people
that voted for Trump! Overseas we are now are seen as xenophobic here!
There is a big issue of will those countries want us there trying to fight ISIS
because of our treatment of Muslims here. But also is the view of the people
that voted for Trump won't care anyway. "Just stay out of my backyard!"
Conservatives only think a few inches from them and won't care about things
over there! So Muslim countries will more likely and correctly not let us in
their country also!

A wall in Mexico that won't happen. They won't pay it, there is no need anyway
most fly in planes to America and planes fly over walls. But I don't think Mexicans
will want to stay in America as the support goes down. The plane thing alone points
to Trump being unfit to run. All of this time pushing the fear about a Mexican wall!
For nothing they will still fly in!

Unknown I got a tip Mexico is making a trade agreement with China!
This is bad as it pushes more agreements with China and not America we
might loose the American dollar in power! As of now I don't know!
But to me sounds like a right course for them. And they also might
ban Americans from coming over. Nothing stays the same!

Trump never worked in government so I don't know if he knows
you just can't fire people you have to make agreements etc in government.
Trump should be viewed like a boss that never gives you raises.
So I would advise so cutback your spending to offset their cutback of your pay
they give you! Stop consuming save what you can as there are cuts coming
for the poor! Don't buy a car etc. Start saving money now!!!!!!!

Partly due to the high risk of minimum wage retirement I would say
to put the money more into your retirement. No minimum wage is no raises,
so I would advise to put money into retirement!
Or not, I would advise to plan to exit America if gets like the Nazis with
the Jews! We are talking about Trump and the stupid people that
listen to what he said like it's true! It's about what are they going to do?!

Noted from tax cuts also noted by grant cuts, college programs being cut

as it's a part of debt cuts in government. So in that less education.
High Schools are going down as tax cuts, cut the schools.
Leaning in to college I do expect colleges having to lower their standard
as they also loose funding and people making enough for college, so they
don't go into college!

Points again to the labor force being UN-educated making lower wages.
So really America is heading down and I would advise to get ready to
get lower to match it. As in expect a American decline in sales, workers
and innovation. Be aware of this!

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Sexual Healing, Spiritual Sex!

Sex? What purpose is it to you. It is more than what people think it is.
Like the common issue of the male having sex then rolling over to go to sleep.
To the woman ignorance and a sign of no interest if not willing to be more involved.
Sex is not about ones self but the other lovers needs,
and or appropriately accepting the lover in ones life in view as therapy 
for the better!

~~~~~Spiritual Sex

f you are here on the planet to become more loving and evolve spiritually, how does sexuality fit into your picture? In most spiritual traditions, sex has long been held as an obstacle to enlightenment. It has been seen as something to overcome, to transcend, or to go beyond. Vows of celibacy have often been praised as seekers try to conquer the "burdens" and "illusions" of earthly desires.

The underlying and usually unquestioned assumption is that sexual denial eventually leads to enlightenment. But isn't enlightenment the realization that all the universe is contained within the infinite depths of your heart? And doesn't all the universe include your sexuality? Are you supposed to cast out an integral part of your own humanity in order to become a fully-realized person?

Celibacy may occur in a natural, organic way as you embrace all aspects of your sexuality and go through to the other side. But to try to force it upon yourself can potentially be destructive. It may be a by-product of your spiritual growth, but is celibacy the ultimate goal?

Spiritual sex: Sexuality as a vehicle to spiritual growth

Sexuality can be a vehicle into spirituality rather than an obstacle to it. One way to express your desire to be reunited with God is by merging with another person through sharing your sexuality. The more deeply you feel the longing to return Home, the more deeply you may want to free your sexual nature.

The gift of your sexuality is that it is a profound modality for the ecstatic affirmation of human love. Why not include sex and God in the same breath? Why would you ever want to see them as opposing forces rather than as partners? Love includes and embraces the entire universe.

Sexual expression can be frightening. It is a movement from everyday limited levels of consciousness into an expansion of your energetic aliveness. Two activities that challenge the ego structure down to its very core are meditation and sexual expression. Both require letting go of the negative mind's usual control over you. In meditation and in sex, in order to become the master of your mind, you must escape from its traps that keep you absorbed at the level of thought.

You achieve freedom if you can access a place inside yourself that lives only in the present tense, not trying to go anywhere or to accomplish anything. In this receptive state, love happens. Fulfillment happens. Union happens.

The mind wants you to be at its every beck and call. It becomes very threatened if you surrender into the flow of sexual energy. Therefore, it tells you that sex is wrong, or a waste of time, or an addiction, or not spiritual enough. Or it starts a fight with your lover when the possibility for a new level of sexual intimacy is available.

Listening to your mind's negativity has you miss the bliss that can be experienced when you let go into the formless. Dive in underneath the superficial motivations of your sexual desires to the deepest stirrings within your soul.

Approach lovemaking with an attitude of reverence and awe, because untainted sex is the sharing of divine nectar. With the safety created by this underlying context, all avenues of pure sexual expression open to mutual exploration.

What is spiritual sex?

What, then, is "spiritual sex"? Take a moment to envision your ideal of two people engaged in spiritual sex. Do you picture candles and soft music? Do the lovers bow to each other, kiss one another's feet, and then sit in the yab-yum position (cross-legged, one on the lap of the other)? Do they see the whole universe in each other's eyes? Do they gently breathe together, barely moving? Have they transcended the trappings of hot, animal lust and the need for genital orgasms?

Whether your pictures are similar to these or not, notice if you do have any ideas of what spiritual sex is supposed to be. What experiences are spiritual lovers supposed to have?

Spiritual sex arises out of both partners' desire for union through uninhibited self expression. What if you are here on earth not to transcend your humanness, but to revere yourself exactly as you are right now?

You are a fascinating combination of a heavenly angel/god/goddess and an earthly animal/beast. As you let go into the formless with the intention to become one with your lover, what can emerge is a dance back and forth between your god/goddess and your animal urges.

As your animal nature releases into an uninhibited expression of passion, perhaps the absolutely perfect spiritual union becomes available to you in that moment. Then, in another moment, when you are softly touching and looking into one another's eyes, you have included your human, animal passion rather than trying to bypass it. As you surrender to your lover in devotion, you can worship both each other's divinity and each other's humanness.

Spiritual sex: Love and lust

Are lust and love enemies waging war against one another or friends complementing each other? When sexual energy begins to flow, you can be overpowered by your genitals if you let them sweep you into actions that you regret later. Yet you need not do anything about your sexual arousal unless your heart is in agreement with your genitals.

Sexuality can be a doorway into bliss instead of a stumbling block to be overcome. Embracing both soft, cool sex, and hot, passionate sex creates more colors with which to paint a richer self-portrait. "Spiritual sex" includes the entire spectrum from life's rainbow, such as:

Diving into each other's eyes.

Tenderly touching each other's face.
Holding each other heart to heart and letting your energy flow.
Experiencing the pain of having any walls between you.
Being of total service to your lover.
Allowing yourself to play a role your partner wants you to play. 
Crying as new doors open to deeper levels of intimacy.
Following your sexuality's expression without preconceived pictures.

More magic might happen if you allow yourself to be seen as an archetype in your sexual connecting. You can become the most beautiful or handsome person in the history of humankind, or a Greek God or Goddess, or the two of you can be more in love than any couple has ever been. As you surrender into the unknown, new possibilities arise from the innocence of your creativity. The reward for your risks is a surprise that can delight you and relight your love.

Spiritual sex: A sexual doorway to transformation

Do you know the Tantric secret about orgasms? While releasing into orgasm, you can perform miracles by visualizing ways you would like life to be. You can picture anything, such as being deeply in love forever; or abundance flowing into your life; or the healing of a friend or relative; or finding relief for the hungry or homeless; or the whole world living in harmony.

What you envision at the moment of orgasm plants a seed within that level of consciousness. Because you are so open, your picture filters down through all the other layers of consciousness. It eventually shows up in your outer world. If you do not let doubt get in your way, you can actually change your everyday reality through the miracle of sexual love. 

With this additional incentive, what are some ways that can you take yourself deeper into love and into sex?

By accepting your natural sexual desires.

By integrating the soft, gentle angel and the passionate animal desires. 
By being curious and discovering what you want to explore next.
By being willing to ask for 100% of what you want without expectations.
By allowing the energy to freely dance between talking, emotional vulnerability, soft, cool sex, and hot, passionate sex.

Spiritual sex: Infinite possibilities and profound integration

What are the actual experiences available out of diving into intimacy? They are boundless and infinite. Donna and I feel more in love than any other couple in the history of humankind; and we want every other couple to have this same feeling.

We are head over heels in love with each other about 99% of the time. After ten years of intimate sexuality, we feel like we are at the very beginning of exploring infinite realms of relating. We have psychic experiences which indicate that we are attuned to one another in the natural way that all of us are meant to be.

We are often moved to tears of gratitude for being in each other's lives and touching each other's soul. We know that at least one other person on this planet accepts us completely, loves every deep, dark corner of us, and lets us feel absolutely safe. We sometimes see each other as representing all men or all women, so that we can fall in love with all human beings through each other.

Through our respect for each other, we feel a sense of reverence and awe for all human beings as gods and goddesses. We have the opportunity to worship another god/goddess disguised as a human being from a place of true surrender and devotion.

As you fully embrace your animal nature, a profound integration of Heaven and Earth emerges. As you celebrate the gift of your sexuality's unique expression, you discover that you do not have to wait until you die in order to be liberated. As your hearts and your sex soar together, you free yourself to celebrate in Heavenly bliss while still in your body.

~~~~~Attention, Ladies: Semen Is An Antidepressant
Perhaps you're familiar with the McClintock effect, the observation that when groups of reproductive-age women live or work together (in college housing, the military, all-female workplaces, etc.), over time their menstrual periods tend to become synchronized. The accepted explanation is that the women detect each other's pheromones, subtle scents that each of us produce, and somehow these only-faintly aromatic but powerful compounds influence the women's hormones and make their menstrual periods arrive around the same time.

But at the State University of New York, two evolutionary psychologists were puzzled to discover that lesbians show no McClintock effect. Why not? Gordon Gallup and Rebecca Burch realized that the only real difference between lesbians and heterosexual women is that the latter are exposed to semen. They speculated that maybe semen chemistry has something to do with the McClintock effect. But if that were true, the vagina would have to absorb compounds in semen that affected the women's pheromones.

Semen is best known for what's not absorbed by the vagina, sperm, which swim through it on their way into the fallopian tubes where fertilization takes place. But sperm comprise only about 3 percent of semen. The rest is seminal fluid: mostly water, plus about 50 compounds: sugar (to nourish sperm), immunosuppressants (to keep women's immune systems from destroying sperm), and oddly, two female sex hormones, and many mood-elevating compounds: endorphins, estrone, prolactin, oxytocin, thyrotrpin-releasing hormone, and serotonin.

Vaginal tissue is very absorptive. It's richly endowed with blood and lymph vessels. Given vaginal absorptiveness and all the mood-elevating compounds in found in semen, Gallup, Burch, and SUNY colleague Steven Platek wondered if semen exposure might be associated with better mood and less depression. They surveyed 293 college women at SUNY Albany about intercourse with and without condoms, and then gave the women the Beck Depression Inventory, a standard test of mood. Compared with women who "always" or "usually" used condoms, those who "never" did, whose vaginas were exposed to semen, showed significantly better mood--fewer depressive symptoms, and less bouts of depression. In addition, compared to women who had no intercourse at all, the semen-exposed women showed more elevated mood and less depression.

Meanwhile, risky sex is usually associated with negative self-esteem and depressed mood. Among college women, risky sex includes intercourse without condoms, so we would expect sex sans condoms to be associated with more depressive symptoms, and more serious depression including suicide attempts. However, in the Gallup-Burch-Platek study, among women who "always" or "usually" used condoms, about 20 percent reported suicidal thoughts, but among those who used condoms only "sometimes," the figure was much lower, 7 percent, and among women who "never" used condoms, only 5 percent reported suicidal thoughts. (This study controlled for relationship duration, amount of sex, use of the Pill, and days since last sexual encounter.) So it appears quite possible that the antidepressants in semen might have a real mood-elevating effect.

Finally, recall that in addition to antidepressant compounds, semen also contains two female sex hormones, follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) and luteinizing hormone (LH). FSH spurs egg maturation in ovary. LH is involved in triggering ovulation. Why would semen contain compounds that encourage ovulation? From an evolutionary perspective, this makes perfect sense.

Consider our closest biological relatives, the chimpanzees. Chimp semen contains no FSH or LH, but ovulating females develop a red buttocks, clearly signally reproductive readiness. In contrast, human women have concealed ovulation. Men don't know when women are most fertile. Compared with men whose semen lacked ovulation-triggering hormones, those whose semen contain these hormones would gain a small reproductive advantage. Their semen would encourage ovulation, and their sperm would be more likely to fertilize eggs.

Now, I'm not advocating that reproductive-age people shun condoms to elevate women's mood at the risk of unplanned pregnancy. But this effect might come in handy for women over age 50, who are experiencing menopausal blues.

I'm fascinated by the chemical complexity of semen. Until recently, scientists believed that its sole purpose was to nourish and protect sperm on their way to fertilization. But now it appears that semen spurs ovulation and makes women feel happier. That might explain why many women report increased interest in sex around the time of ovulation.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

The effects of Psychedelics, Growth

For the personal psych I do see the benefits of Psychedelic therapy
to get over the problems that people might have!
In all therapy there is the point to realize there is a problem and
to give the reins to the therapist.

The point is to understand there is a problem and to say please help!
Help? In life lovers, love and heal but in the setting of hell Psychedelic therapy
is the resolve!

~~~~~Psycholytic therapy involves the use of low to medium doses of psychedelic drugs, repeatedly at intervals of 1–2 weeks. The therapist is present during the peak of the experience and at other times as required, to assist the patient in processing material that arises and to offer support when necessary. This general form of therapy was utilized mainly to treat patients with neurotic and psychosomatic disorders. The name, coined by Ronald A. Sandison, literally meaning "soul-dissolving", refers to the belief that the therapy can dissolve conflicts in the mind. Psycholytic therapy was historically an important approach to psychedelic psychotherapy in Europe, but it was also practiced in the United States by some psychotherapists including Betty Eisner.

An advantage of psychedelic drugs in exploring the unconscious is that a conscious sliver of the adult ego usually remains alert during the experience. Throughout the session, patients remain intellectually alert and remember their experiences vividly. In this highly introspective state, they also are actively cognizant of ego defenses such as projection, denial, and displacement as they react to themselves and their choices in the act of creating them.

The ultimate goal of the therapy is to provide a safe, mutually compassionate context through which the profound and intense reliving of memories can be filtered through the principles of genuine psychotherapy. Aided by the deeply introspective state attained by the patient, the therapist assists him/her in developing a new life framework or personal philosophy that recognizes individual responsibility for change.

It's about healing... To have growth and yes Psychedelics do make us grow.
It helps to repair the brain or jump starts the brain in a early age in a therapist
supervised session. Give a homeless person slipped me LSD when I was a kid
I acknowledge that it helped me in my multiple intelligences that set
my thinking in a multiple format. Or brought me questions and set me on a path
as I wondered what the hell that was. Either way Growth!

~~~~~Psychedelic mushrooms already have a reputation for helping people open their minds and broaden their perspective on the world. They have shown an ability to combat mental disorders like depression and anxiety. Now, research is showing that the magic mushrooms can actually help physically rebuild a damaged brain.

In a study conducted by the University of South Florida and published in 2013 in the Experimental Brain Research journal, researchers measured the effects of mushrooms on mice that had been conditioned to fear certain stimuli.

The results were striking: Not only could psilocybin, the main active ingredient in psychedelic mushrooms, help them get over their fear, it promoted cell growth and regeneration in their brains.

During the experiment, mice were exposed to an auditory tone while receiving an electric shock, training them to fear the noise even when the shock was not administered.

Mice that received low doses of psilocybin, however, were quickly able to shed their aversion to the tone, while mice that did not take the substance took longer to return to normal. “They stopped freezing; they lost their fear,” study co-author Dr. Juan Sanchez-Ramos said to Live Science.

What’s more, the psychedelic mice showed growth in new brain cells, perhaps erasing memories of the fear response. Researchers think that the psilocybin is binding to brain receptors that stimulate growth and healing, acting on the hippocampus, a small part of the brain that is essential to learning and forming memories. Since PTSD is thought to result from a similar response in which patients cannot separate a stimulus from a traumatic event, psilocybin could perhaps help them heal their brains just like it did for the mice.

“Memory, learning, and the ability to relearn that a once threatening stimuli is no longer a danger absolutely depends on the ability of the brain to alter its connections,” study leader Dr. Briony Catlow of the Lieber Institute for Brain Development said to Real Clear Science. “We believe that neuroplasticity plays a critical role in psilocybin accelerating fear extinction.”

“It is highly possible that in the future we will continue these studies since many interesting questions have come up from these experiments,” Catlow said. “The hope is that we can extend the findings to humans in clinical trials.”

Psychedelics work, in part, by overriding the “default mode network” in the brain, which is thought to be responsible for wandering minds, self-criticism and an inability to focus on the outside world. Instead, the substances help people focus on living in the moment, similar to many Eastern meditation practices. That can also help with PTSD as well as other mental disorders like depression.

“People with depression have overactive default mode networks and so ruminate on themselves, on their inadequacies, on their badness, that they are worthless, that they have failed — to an extent that is sometimes delusional,” David Nutt, of the Imperial College London’s Neuropsychopharmacology Unit, said to Natural News. “[P]silocybin appears to block that activity and stops this obsessive rumination.”

The therapeutic value seems clear. “[Psilocybin] facilitates extinction of the classically conditioned fear response, and this, and similar agents, should be explored as potential treatments for post-traumatic stress disorder and related conditions,” the study concludes. However, despite its demonstrated success and unlimited potential, psilocybin is currently banned by the U.S. government, considered a drug of abuse with no medical value.

~~~~~Researchers in Brazil have used miniature human brains to reveal the effects of psychedelics on neural plasticity, inflammation and neurodegeneration. They shared the results of their experiments this week in the journal Scientific Reports.

"For the first time we could describe psychedelic related changes in the molecular functioning of human neural tissue," lead study author Stevens Rehen, a professor at the Federal University of Rio de Janeiro, said in a news release.

To study the impact of psychedelics on the brain, scientists exposed cerebral organoids -- cultures of neural cells that approximate a developing brain -- to dimethyltryptamine, or 5-MeO-DMT, a psychedelic compound. Mass spectrometry-based proteomics, a novel imaging technique, allowed researchers to analyze the compound's effects on thousands of neural proteins.

The analysis revealed an increase in the production of proteins related to synaptic formation and maintenance, as well as proteins linked with the regulation of learning and memory. The compound also decreased the production of proteins linked with inflammation, degeneration and brain lesions.

"Results suggest that classic psychedelics are powerful inducers of neuroplasticity, a tool of psychobiological transformation that we know very little about," said co-author Sidarta Ribeiro, director of the Brain Institute at the Federal University of Rio Grande do Norte.

Previous studies have suggested psychedelic drugs, including LSD and MDMA, have anti-inflammatory and antidepressant qualities, but until now, scientists have struggled to identify the molecular pathways through which the substances deliver their therapeutic effects.

"Our study reinforces the hidden clinical potential of substances that are under legal restrictions, but which deserve attention of medical and scientific communities," Rehen said.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017


The mind is very plastic, adaptive.
~~~~~Perceptual adaptation is the means by which the brain accounts for the 
differences that the subject may witness, particularly alterations in the visual field. 
For example, if an individual's visual field is altered forty five degrees left, the 
brain accounts for the difference allowing the individual to function normally.

Or with spatial intelligence.
~~~~~Spatial Intelligence is an area in the theory of multiple intelligences that deals with spatial judgment and the ability to visualize with the mind's eye. It is defined by Howard Gardner as a human computational capacity that provides the ability or mental skill to solve spatial problems of navigation, visualization of objects from different angles and space, faces or scenes recognition or to notice fine details. Gardner further explains that Spatial Intelligence could be more effective to solve problems in areas related to realistic, thing-oriented, and investigative occupations. This capability is a brain skill that is also found in people with visual impairment. As researched by Gardner, a blind person can recognize shapes in a non-visual way. The spatial reasoning of the blind person allows them to translate tactile sensations into mental calculation of length and visualisation of form.

Synesthesia varies from person to person and cause to cause.
~~~~~Little is known about how synesthesia develops. It has been suggested that synesthesia develops during childhood when children are intensively engaged with abstract concepts for the first time. This hypothesis – referred to as semantic vacuum hypothesis explains why the most common forms of synesthesia are grapheme-color, spatial sequence and number form. These are usually the first abstract concepts that educational systems require children to learn.

~~~~~My sudden synesthesia: how I went blind and started hearing colors
It took just 72 hours for me to lose my sight entirely. Just before my blindness hit, I had been laid up with an unknown virus that had left me suffering severe headaches and sweats. My body's immune system had gone haywire, responding to the virus by attacking my own nerves, causing loss of sight and mobility -- I had been struck down by biological friendly fire.

Going blind was devastating. I hadn't just lost my primary sense -- I had lost my livelihood too. As a television producer, my vision was my job.

My sight started to return weeks later. I opened my eyes to a strange, supernatural view. Everything was just a swirling gray fog. I was momentarily elated that the world was no longer a suffocating black cloak -- but I realized quickly that I didn't recognize anything around me. Over time, black lines started to appear, crudely constructing windows and door frames, but little else.

Slowly the gray mist dissolved into a brown muddy haze that obscured anything more than a few feet away. Color eluded me, and people were hollow ghosts with no solidity or humanness. I often had no idea where I was, and I wondered if I would ever feel normal again.

As I recovered at home, color started slowly creeping back into my life. This was a very perplexing time, for often I felt I was seeing a color but was unable to identify it. I would stare endlessly at trees and lamp-posts, desperate to match the color I believed was there with my strange sensory experience. Bright primary colors were the first I could identify with any conviction; I struggled enormously with greens, grays and any pale or muted colors. This was not the vibrant rainbow world I was used to.

Even though my visual world was still predominantly black and white, it felt like colors were talking to me, as if my senses were communicating in ways I didn't understand. Explaining my new relationship with color only provoked confused silences, and when I described it to neurologists, I was told that nobody knew what was causing it, but that perhaps my sensory system had become cross-wired.
Color information was still being transmitted to my brain, but I was receiving only part of the message. My lifelong emotional associations with colors were still intact, even if my sight was not. I tried to use language to help myself recover. "You are green," I would tell the grass, using reminders to try and bring my normal vision back online. The more I did this, the more it worked.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Changing reasons why women cheat on their husbands

Why do people cheat? It's in our nature... Well we all are made with hormones
and where did hormones come from? 
"Researchers have identified several new traits in modern humans that 
are influenced by Neandertal genes."

These are real questions that needs to be
asked to accept each others nature instead of fighting it constantly!
It takes that talk, it takes that first step, those words many long to hear,
"Walk with me!"

~~~~~Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality is a book dealing with the evolution of monogamy in humans and human mating systems. First published in 2010, it was co-authored by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá. In opposition to what the authors see as the 'standard narrative' of human sexual evolution, they contend having multiple sexual partners was common and accepted in the environment of evolutionary adaptedness. Mobile self-contained groups of hunter gatherers are posited as the human norm before agriculture led to high population density. According to the authors, before agriculture, sex was relatively promiscuous, and paternity was not a concern, in a similar way to the mating system of Bonobos. According to the book, sexual interactions strengthened the bond of trust in the groups; far from causing jealousy, social equilibrium and reciprocal obligation was strengthened by playful sexual interactions.

~~~~~The changing reasons why women cheat on their husbands
One of the more interesting facts in Esther Perel's new book, State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, comes near the beginning.

Since 1990, notes the psychoanalyst and writer, the rate of married women who report they've been unfaithful has increased by 40 percent, while the rate among men has remained the same.

More women than ever are cheating, she tells us, or are willing to admit that they are cheating -- and while Perel spends much of her book examining the psychological meaning, motivation, and impact of these affairs, she offers little insight into the significance of the rise itself.

So what exactly is happening inside marriages to shift the numbers? What has changed about monogamy or family life in the past 27 years to account for the closing gap? And why have so many women begun to feel entitled to the kind of behavior long accepted (albeit disapprovingly) as a male prerogative?

These questions first occurred to me a few years ago when I began to wonder how many of my friends were actually faithful to their husbands.

From a distance, they seemed happy enough, or at least content. Like me, they were doing the family thing. They had cute kids, mortgages, busy social lives, matching sets of dishes. On the surface, their husbands were reasonable, the marriages modern and equitable. If these women friends were angry unfulfilled or resentful, they didn't show it.

Then one day, one of them confided in me she'd been having two overlapping affairs over the course of five years.

Almost before I'd finished processing this, another friend told me she was 100 percent faithful to her husband, except when she was out of town for work each month. Not long after, another told me that while she'd never had sex with another man, she'd had so many emotional affairs and inappropriate email correspondences over the years that she'd had to buy a separate hard drive to store them all.

What surprised me most about these conversations was not that my friends were cheating, but that many of them were so nonchalant in the way they described their extramarital adventures. There was deception but little secrecy or shame.

Often, they loved their husbands, but felt in some fundamental way that their needs (sexual, emotional, psychological) were not being met inside the marriage. Some even wondered if their husbands knew about their infidelity, choosing to look away.

"The fact is," one of these friends told me, "I'm nicer to my husband when I have something special going on that's just for me." She found that she was kinder, more patient, less resentful, "less of a bitch." It occurred to me as I listened that these women were describing infidelity not as a transgression but a creative or even subversive act, a protest against an institution they'd come to experience as suffocating or oppressive.

In an earlier generation, this might have taken the form of separation or divorce, but now, it seemed, more and more women were unwilling to abandon the marriages and families they'd built over years or decades. They were also unwilling to bear the stigma of a publicly open marriage or to go through the effort of negotiating such a complex arrangement.

These women were turning to infidelity not as a way to explode a marriage, but as a way to stay in it. Whereas conventional narratives of female infidelity so often posit the unfaithful woman as a passive party, the women I talked to seemed in control of their own transgressions. There seemed to be something new about this approach.

In The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife: Power, Pragmatism, and Pleasure in Women's Infidelity, another book on infidelity to be published this November, the sociologist Alicia Walker elaborates on the concept of female infidelity as a subversion of traditional gender roles.

To do so, she interviews 40 women who sought or participated in extramarital relationships through the Ashley Madison dating site.

Like The State of Affairs, Walker's text offers valuable insight simply by way of approaching its subject from a position of curiosity as opposed to prevention or recovery, and she investigates which factors led the women in her study to go outside their marriages.

Surely, one might think, a woman who would do such a thing must be acting out of a desire to escape a miserable marriage. And yet it turns out, this isn't always the case: Many of the women Walker interviewed were in marriages that were functional. Like the women I knew who cheated, many of the interviewees said they liked their husbands well enough. They had property together. They had friendships together. They had children that they were working together to raise.

But at the same time, they found married life incredibly dull and constraining and resented the fact that as women, they felt they consistently did a disproportionate amount of the invisible labor that went into maintaining their lifestyle.

One woman in Walker's book told her, "The inequality of it all is such an annoying factor that I am usually in a bad mood when my spouse is in my presence," and another said that while her husband was a competent adult in the world, at home he felt like "another child to clean up after."

Many of the friends I spoke to expressed similar feelings. "I shop and cook, my husband does dishes and empties the trash," one told me. "We each do our own laundry. But I've always been in charge of the 'calendar,' and what I didn't realize until recently is that in some way I'm in charge of managing many of our relationships.

My husband is a homebody and I initiate/plan almost all of our social endeavors. My mom got this phrase from her therapist: 'keeping the pulse of the household' -- this idea that someone has to be managing the emotional heart of your tiny community. I think women do that a lot."

And as Perel repeats frequently in this book, and in her previous one, little does as much to muffle erotic desire as this kind of caretaking and enmeshment.

"I think there's an incredible amount of deep resentment for women in America about divisions of labor," said sociologist Lisa Wade when I asked her to comment on this contradiction. "And what social scientists are finding now is that there is a correlation between equal division of labor and better sex."

No matter how much attention is paid to these issues, she told me, "these kind of cultural beliefs hang on a long time after they're relevant. They hang on in ways that are often invisible. A lot of women have tried to address these problems and have faced a lot of stubbornness from husbands. They feel there's no way to win this battle. So maybe now what women are deciding is that infidelity is a third way."

Of course, it's a "third way" that is not feasible for everyone, even if more women are taking it up, usually women who feel financially secure and independent enough to risk potential fallout. These women seem to be finding that no amount of sensitivity or goodwill on the part of their husbands can save them from the fact that in every arena, from work to marriage to parenthood, they're always doing more for less.

As Wade put it, "It's such a precarious balance keeping everyone happy, that for many women, to start a long conversation about her own sexual satisfaction seems like a bad idea. We now tell women that they can have it all, that they can work and have a family and deserve to be sexually satisfied. And then when having it all is miserable and overwhelming or they realize marriage isn't all it's cracked it up to be, maybe having affairs is the new plan B."

I tested this idea out on a few of the friends who had confided in me about their affairs, and most of them agreed. Twenty or thirty years ago they might have opted for divorce, because surely there was another man out there who could do better in this role, who could satisfy them completely. But a lot of these women are children of divorce. They lived through the difficulties divorce can create.

"Even now," all these years later, one told me, "Do you know what my most vivid memory of Christmas is? Driving through a blizzard up I-95 in the back of one of their cars, and then they'd pull over on the side of the highway and hand off me and my brother without speaking. That was our Christmas. Why did these people marry in the first place?"

Maybe that's the essential question, the question preceding those Perel explores in her book. Why do women still marry when, if statistics are to be believed, marriage doesn't make them very happy?

I confided in a friend once that, after 15 years of marriage, the institution and the relationship itself continued to mystify me. At the time I married, marriage had felt like a panacea; it was a bond that would provide security, love, friendship, stability, and romance -- the chance to have children and nice dishes, to be introduced as someone's wife. It promised to expand my circle of family and improve my credit score, to tether me to something wholesome and give my life meaning.

Could any single relationship not fall short of such expectations? Maybe these women were on to something -- valuing their marriages for the things it could offer and outsourcing the rest, accepting the distance between the idealization and the actual thing, seeing marriage clearly for what it is and not what we're all told and promised it will be.

My friend told me she felt this way of thinking was the only answer, and the way she'd come to reconcile her feelings about the relationship. She said that she used to compare her marriage to her parents', who always seemed totally in love. "Until the end of my mom's life they were spooning together every night in a double bed ... not even a queen. But," she added, "they were awful and narcissistic, with very little to give to their children."

My friend felt she and her husband were much better parents, more involved and attuned to their kids.

"But often," she went on, "it can feel like my husband and I are running a family corporation together and that our emotional intimacy consists of gossiping about our friends and watching Game of Thrones. Sometimes I wonder if when the kids leave I should either (a) have a passionate affair or (b) find another husband. I may do neither, but it seems like (a) is more likely than (b). I don't have any illusions that marrying someone else will make me happy, not anymore."

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Zebras escape circus, run wild through city streets

In life everyone has their need to get out of their circus and run!
And the less you know the better your off! Let's run in the streets i'm willing!

~~~~~Zebras escape circus, run wild through city streets
An astonished bystander captured footage of circus employees chasing after a herd of escaped zebras as they ran down a busy road.

Gabor Kardos Kardi posted a video to Facebook showing the group of zebras dashing down a street Monday in Sopron with two men in hot pursuit.

The Hungarian National Circus said in a Facebook post the six zebras escaped when an employee apparently failed to properly close their fence.

The circus said none of the zebras were injured during their time on the run.

Monday, October 2, 2017

Legend Tom Petty dies

I give full respects to the Tom Petty family! 
Agreed he was a good artist and a human! 

~~~~~Rocker Tom Petty died Monday after being rushed to a Los Angeles hospital, according to Tony Dimitriades, longtime manager of Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers. Dimitriades confirmed Petty's death on behalf of the performer's family.
He was 66.
The singer was found unconscious in his Malibu home on Sunday night, authorities said.
Petty was transported to UCLA Santa Monica Hospital where he was reportedly placed on life support.

"He suffered cardiac arrest at his home in Malibu in the early hours of this morning and was taken to UCLA Medical Center but could not be revived. He died peacefully at 8:40pm PT surrounded by family, his bandmates and friends," Dimitriades said in a statement.
    With his nasally voice and chiming guitar, Petty and his longtime band, the Heartbreakers, churned out an instantly recognizable brand of sturdy, heartland rock that made them a classic-radio staple for decades. Petty, along with the band, was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2002.
    The group finished a summer tour with three performances at the Hollywood Bowl last week.
    Petty and the Heartbreakers first came to fame in the 1970s. It was both with that group and as a solo artist that Petty had a string of hits across the decades, including "Free Fallin'," "American Girl" and "I Won't Back Down."
    Their 1976 debut contained a minor hit, "Breakdown," but it wasn't until Petty's third album, "Damn the Torpedoes," that he and the band broke through to the mainstream.
    That 1980 album won critical raves, went platinum and spawned the hits "Don't Do Me Like That" and "Refugee."
    Petty sang with Stevie Nicks that same year on her smash hit, "Stop Draggin' My Heart Around." The duet kicked off a long and fruitful period of collaboration between Petty and other artists.
    He recorded "Don't Come Around Here No More" -- memorable for its trippy, Mad Hatter-themed music video -- with the Eurythmics' Dave Stewart in 1985. Petty joined Bob Dylan on tour the next year, which also included dates with the Grateful Dead.
    He joined fellow music legends Dylan, George Harrison, Jeff Lynne, and Roy Orbison in 1988 to form The Traveling Wilburys. They released two studio albums.
    It was a rich career for Petty, who was born in Gainesville, Florida and became hooked on rock and roll when -- at the age of 11 -- he met superstar Elvis Presley on a movie set.
    Petty joined his first band, The Sundowners, in high school at the age of 14.
    After getting into an argument with the band's drummer, Petty quit and moved on to join a group called The Epics, which included Tom Leadon, a brother of Eagles guitarist Bernie Leadon.
    "We realized Tom was the real musician of the band," their fellow band member Rick Rucker told the Orlando Sentinel in 2006.
    The Epics later changed their name to Mudcrutch, and Petty traveled to Los Angeles in search of a record deal for the rock quintet.
    Despite landing a deal, the group soon disbanded.
    A new group that included Petty and two former Mudcrutch members formed in 1975, eventually becoming known as Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.
    After pioneering the heartland rock sound, Petty went solo in 1989 before regrouping with the Heartbreakers three years later.
    He also found fame as an actor. His flair for drama was on display in his music videos for songs like "Mary Jane's Last Dance."
    Petty starred with Kevin Costner in the 1997 film, "The Postman." He also had a recurring role as the voice of Elroy "Lucky" Kleinschmidt in the animated comedy series, "King of the Hill."
    A 2015 biography on Petty documented a dark turn for the singer and his struggle with heroin addiction in 1997, following the collapse of his 20-year marriage and a failed album.
    "Tried to go cold turkey, and that wouldn't work," Petty said in the book. "It's an ugly f***ing thing."
    Petty told CNN in a 2007 interview that he loved music as much as it loved him.
    "Music, as far as I have seen in the world so far, is the only real magic that I know," he said. "There is something really honest and clean and pure and it touches you in your heart."

    ( ( ( ( ) ) ) )