Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Falling in love in the workplace

This is something many have fears about that in reality are just false.
Keepng yourself bound by such fears is like staying in your own personal
hell. We are not islands! Falling in love in the workplace!

"The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge."

"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted."

"One should respect public opinion insofar as is necessary to avoid starvation and keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny."

"To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead."

"Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal 
means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women 
throughout the greater part of their lives." Bertrand Russell.
https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/b/bertrand_russell.html

True and noted the part "guided by knowledge!" Well it's a dur where else do you fall
in love at! What a better place to see her under stress in how she handles it.
Rather romantic to see her jump up and down, the venting a point of respect!


Research shows that the workplace is where the majority of couples meet. There’s a reason for this: Unlike online dating, newspaper ads, singles events and speed dating, the office gives you a chance to actually get to know and even bond with a person before declaring your interest. Working side by side with someone daily, seeing him or her under pressure, commiserating over problems and congratulating over wins gives you a portrait of the person on the inside as well as the outside. Because it’s the inside that matters in a love relationship (despite all the media focus on the external) love can grow without either party really being aware of it. The couple develops a relationship “infrastructure” in an organic, natural fashion, as opposed to forcing it. These relationships often last a long time, because they’re reality based. Unfortunately, the same ingredients can make office connections tempting even to the married, which is the downside of the issue.

The reason so many people date in the workplace, even though it’s often disastrous, is that it’s easy. You get to know someone well by working alongside them, observing them interacting with others, seeing them under stress. A lot of these relationships do work, and it’s actually a good way to meet someone it’s just that the consequences of a poor choice are so big.
http://www.thegrindstone.com/2012/02/14/career-management/the-psychology-of-why-we-fall-in-love-with-coworkers-245

And the point to have knowledge about it. What is good for you and the value.
Make those agreements for each others best interest. And be calm really most people
are grown up and accept there will be love in the workplace. Really where else will it be at?

~~~~~4 stories of people who fell in love at work.

~~Lucy and Tom
How they met:

We first met on a training course at the company’s head office. We both worked as graphic designers at different printing stores, so we had lots in common.

It was only when we bumped into each other four months later in a nightclub, that we really connected! We did not recognize each other at first until we asked about work and jobs; it felt like fate that we met again!

A couple of months into our relationship, Tom told me that he was attracted to my carefree attitude and a friendly smile we exchanged during a role play task. I remember him chasing me across the car park with his business card so we could stay in touch.

How their colleagues reacted:

We had been exchanging emails for a while, before we told other colleagues about it. They liked the story of how we had met and wished us well. Since then we have both changed job roles and moved away from design into managerial jobs.

Where are they are now:

We have been together for eight years now, and got engaged last September. After moving in and living together for a while, we decided to buy our first home seven years ago. We are also blessed to have a beautiful daughter, who is going to be three soon.

We worked in separate offices for many years, but now both work back at the head office in the same room we did the training course! It’s amazing how we work together so well too.

Advice for others in workplace romances:

Keeping work and home life separate can be tricky, but we try not to talk shop after 5.30pm. We have different job roles within the company now, so we don’t tend to work directly together. Over the years we have supported and encouraged each other, and this has helped us to progress in our careers.

~~Hannah and Daniel
How they met:

I met my partner Daniel at a retail supermarket when I was 18. It was my first part-time job while I was at University. Daniel was there as a duty manager.

We got on, and like many we ended up kissing at a Christmas works do. I had actually kissed him for a bet! My friend, who did not work there, bet me £20 I could not kiss someone who worked above me!

Daniel fit the bill and I thought he would be the easiest to kiss. I was only 18 at the time and did not take anything too seriously. Never the less he asked me out a couple of days later and I thought ‘why not?’

How their colleagues reacted:

We were very professional at work and never had any problems working together while being in a relationship.

Where are they are now:

Six years down the line we live together, are engaged and have a toddler son. We laugh about how we ended up together because of a childish bet! We no longer work together. I left the company a couple of years ago while Daniel is still there.

Advice for others in workplace romances:

The best advice I would give is to keep work and home separate. We did not want our colleagues to know everything about our relationship.

We also did not want to take work home with us after spending all day together. Keeping it separate meant we were professional at work and this allowed us to enjoy our social time together.

~~Kris and Ashlee
How they met:

In my late teens I worked at Republic, the high street fashion company, and Ashlee joined as a Christmas temp one year. Initially I had a crush on her but little did I know my love for her would go from S to XXL over the next few months.

We grew close – we went out for drives together, went for drinks with mutual friends and then eventually dinners alone.

Movie nights at her house became a regular thing, drawn together by our love of horror movies. Who’d have known our own story would be more of a rom-com?

One night we sat in the car outside her house and we still argue to this day about who made the move first – sort of like that “what came first – the chicken or the egg?” dilemma.

How their colleagues reacted:

At first our relationship was a secret, as far as our parents and colleagues knew we were just good friends and nothing more. Of course people eventually grew suspicious and the Facebook relationship status was changed.

It was like a game of emoji bingo! Some colleagues were genuinely shocked, some laughed that we thought we’d actually managed to keep it a secret.

However, most people were just happy and excited for us. They saw that we were serious enough about each other to make it that bit more official.

Where are they are now:

In 2013 Republic went into administration but the doors didn’t shut on our relationship. I graduated from university and went to work in an accountancy firm while she continued to progress in retail where her true passion was.

We only lived 15 minutes’ drive from each other, which meant we could easily pop over to each other’s houses.

Five years passed and the photo shows the exact moment I proposed to her in Disney World Florida in 2016. Knowing her love of anything Disney, it was the perfect time and place. We are due to be married in August 2018 – the perfect fairy-tale ending.

Advice for others in workplace romances:

The best advice I can give is to open up about it as soon as possible. Although the secrecy can be fun, there’s a good chance people already know. Those “discreet” glances at your girlfriend across the shop floor, aren’t as discreet as you think!

~~Chris and Gemma
How they met:

Chris and I worked for a charity in London managing volunteers who mentored children with behavioural difficulties. We were in the same office for eight months before we took the plunge into an office romance. I’d only told one colleague secretly that I had a bit of a crush and she said she didn’t think I’d be his type!

I had completely convinced myself it was a terrible idea to date someone from work when something came over me and I invited him to a tea party I was having.

He accepted. I hadn’t invited anyone else from work and on the morning of the party so I started to worry that he might guess I was after him.

He did guess but I didn’t need to worry because four years later we still have a tea party on the anniversary of that day.

How their colleagues reacted:

After we embarked on the work fling, we tried to keep it secret for a little while. However, we got caught at a colleague’s wedding holding hands under the table.

After the inevitable whispers, we came clean and told our colleagues. They were supportive and possibly even more excited than we were!

We had to be very clear about when we were colleagues and when we were a couple. When we walked into the workplace, we put on a different hat and got on with our work independently of one another. And when we left the office, we were able to switch off and get on with other things.

Where are they are now:

This July we got married and moved to the North East together. We even have a cabinet with a shrine to tea in our living room. We don’t work together anymore but we would definitely work together again.

Advice for others in workplace romances:

It was a great opportunity to meet someone with similar values. And spending all day together and still being happy to see each other in the evening proved that we got on pretty well!

Keep your relationship a secret for a little while – it can be exciting. But as soon as one person knows, you need to be transparent. It will make your life a lot easier and your colleagues might be more supportive than you expect.

Give yourselves a 10 minute window at the end of the day to talk about work things. Then stop talking about work things.
https://www.totaljobs.com/insidejob/stories-of-people-who-fell-in-love-at-work

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