Tuesday, September 8, 2015

The Female Alpha

Personality traits are the spice of life. As I say about myself a lot, my trait is being 
flexible sort of with plasticity! I change if needed to Alpha, Beta, Nu or Zeta.
I will fit in and if in a bad time I will be Alpha as in the time at a Hotel I worked at
the Banquet manager nicely quit and being she was also running the hotel and
being everyone was in a training camp in another state at the time, I kicked in!
Until they put the security guy in charge after his time off. But the boss let me 
run it till then. So yes I am capable from jumping from Zeta to Alpha,
boom if needed!
In relating with the Alpha Female, I fit because I would adapt. As like if a alpha 
challenges me and I come in her room and she like comes at me like a bull I would 
adapt and turn into a ball thus confusing the Alpha giving her a challenge back. 
Or in a crash of a day I would turn into a couch and support her, 
give for a short time until she quickly pops back up.

Being adaptive in your nature would give a challenge back to a challenging Alpha
and she will love you back as it gives her growth. Like me turning into a ball she
would ask how did you do that? So then comes the growth of knowing.
My needs are met with a Alpha if she fits me. Alpha's are independent it's not that 
they overly need you it's just that they want you. It's like saying she wants you 
because you are good for her. Just take out the word "need" and put "want" 
in it's place. You should understand the independent nature of a Alpha!

"She will run over the Beta Male, dominate him and plow him down like a steam roller. 
Leaving him feeling emasculated and herself feeling frustrated."
A different result occurs if one has a Adaptive personally caught off guard.
One will adore the fuck out of her! Not be scared of her.
Many Beta's normally run for their life if caught off guard.
Adaptive's will say oh, she's an Alpha, I'm in love, she's good for me!
An Alpha should know it's not running away, or fear, it's love!

In placement with a Alpha in a "Open marriage" or "Married but dating."
You need to know the nature of what a Alpha is looking for in a partner, or how the
husband should react to her.

"He’s confident enough to know that the mild flirtations you have at a cocktail party and
your unyielding friendship with your work husband are never a threat to your relationship.
He knows you’re his and never feels the need to question you because your relationship
was built on a foundation of trust."

"He has his own life and respects that you have yours. He’s never going to give you a
hard time about wanting to hit the club with your girls.
Instead, he encourages you to spend time with them whenever you want to
because he knows whom you’re coming home to."

"He has your full trust, and you can tell each other anything. You’re not afraid your
embarrassing stories are going to come back to you when you meet his family or when
you meet his friends for drinks. What’s said between the two of you stays between the
two of you. Well, except for your BFF; she knows everything from what he’s got
going on downstairs to his latest promotion at work."

Alpha's can have a lot in their life and what is not known in their life is put as
"What happens in the Hotel stays in the Hotel."
Even if it's put as quantum entanglement in bizarre points. There are points that will
never come out dammit! And that is a good thing for everyone! Trust is true!
And that is a point of an "Open marriage or Dating" it's about trusting!

~~~~~The Female Alpha
When most people hear the phrase ‘female alpha’ they think of the most attractive,
powerful or domineering woman they know. However, female alphas are not so easily
recognizable. They might be beautiful or bossy or authoritative, but this is not what
defines them.

The easiest way to spot a female alpha is in a room or group of females.
You can easily figure out who the alpha is by observing the following
female alpha phenomena:

1. Alpha females are social conductors; non-alpha females are her orchestra.
Next time you are at a party or networking event, try this fascinating experiment:
Find a group of three or more females —you do not need to be close enough to hear
them, they should just be in your line of sight. Put a five-minute timer on your phone or
watch and take note of the direction of the women’s feet. Almost always women point
their toes towards the person they are most interested in or who they feel is leading the
group’s tempo.  In only five minutes you will be able to see where the majority of the
women are pointing their feet. Amazingly, you will notice that most of the women in the
group will be pointing towards the same woman–even if they are in a circle and even if
that woman is not talking.

2. All females follow the alpha’s social cues.
Once you have an inclining of who the female alpha is of the group, move closer
(or, if you are a woman, you can even join the circle). You will notice that the entire group
is taking ‘social cues’ from the alpha. Women will hold their body like her, they will talk
in the same voice tone and other females will even laugh for the same amount of time as
the alpha does. By the way female alpha behavior is harder to spot in a group of
mixed sexes males confuse the female attention spans.

3. When the female alpha leaves, a social vacuum is created.
Another way you can spot the female alpha of a group is by watching how each group
member exits. When non-alpha’s leave the group nothing much happens conversation
continues, the gap closes and group members move-on. However, when THE female
alpha (and there can only be one, see below for details) you will see something
odd happen. Either conversation stops completely and female members look around
expectantly for a new alpha, or the group disperses.

4. There are different degrees of female alpha-ness.
Female alpha-hood is not like pregnancy (you are or you aren’t). It is more of a spectrum.
Some women have a high tendency to be alpha. They enjoy social conducting,
being the leader and/or the center of attention. Some women only like being female alpha’s
in their home, but not in the business environment. Some women are only social alphas
around certain groups of friends. If you explain the female alpha phenomenon to a
woman, she will most likely be able to tell you her ‘degree’ of social alpha-ness.
On a ten point scale she might be a seven or a four, for example.

5. There can only be one female alpha per cluster.
What happens when there are two female alphas in an office? One word: Disaster.
Or, maybe two words: Disaster and Drama. The female alpha with the higher degree
of alpha-ness usually takes charge and the second alpha female backs down–well,
seethes, plots revenge and then backs down. In social groups most of the female
drama comes when there are two alpha females competing to be the social
conductor and non-alpha females (or alpha females to a lesser degree)
are not sure who to follow.

6. There must be at least one alpha female.
Oddly, there must only be one alpha female, but there also has to be AT LEAST one.
We have all experienced (whether we knew it or not) a group without an alpha female.
Men would describe it as ‘awkward,’ ‘weird,’ or ‘boring.’ This is because in a group
of women with very low female alpha tendencies no one is sure how to act, what to talk
about or the social pace. Female alphas actually have the very important role of
social lubrication.

7. Alpha females are social lubrication and business mediators.
We have very little awareness of how important and how much we do in fact rely on
female alphas. They bring social ease to a group, they tell jokes, they start conversations,
they introduce people, they smooth over business disagreements and take charge.
There are many names for them, both good and bad: connectors, chatty, gossipers,
queen bees, leaders, bossy, self-centered, the life of the party, social and control freaks.

8. We are groomed to either accept or become female alphas.
In the book. “The Female Brain” by Louann Brizendine, she discusses the evolutionary
and biological importance for females to get along and keep harmony in a group.
From a very young age girls are taught—far more than boys, to share, cooperate and
play fair. Girls get very good at reading other’s emotions and adapting to the tone of a
group. Female alphas actually make it easier for a group of girls to interact because
there is one unspoken leader. This leader sets the tone for the group and allows girls
to get along without having a power struggle.

9. Female Alphas are the top of the hierarchy.
If I had to put a label on the different most typical female roles in group settings,
here are what they would be:

Alphas: Leaders

Betas: Side-kicks or enforcers of alpha leadership.

Nu’s: The exact middle letter of the Greek Alphabet, Nu’s are fillers.
They provide conversation, gossip and support for the Alpha.

Zeta’s: The jokester, comic relief, clown, goofball of the group.
Most groups have a female jester.

Omega’s: (The last letter of the Greek Alphabet) The victims, the bullied,
the weaklings or the “C” in a female troika are always picked on or treated with loving
condescension. (See my article on Female Troikas)

Sampi’s: (An obsolete letter of the Greek Alphabet, often forgotten)
The Invisibles, the forgotten girls whose quiet or shy demeanor often means they
are not included or counted.

It is actually very helpful to know the female alphas in your life or recognize if you in fact
are one yourself. You will find yourself appreciating them in awkward social situations or,
if you are a female alpha, avoiding other female alphas who challenge you.
Do you know the female alphas in your life?

~~~~~7 Things To Know Before Dating the Alpha Female
7. But she’s definitely worth it.
Her my-way-or-the-highway attitude and complete self-competence will, at times,
make you feel small. Instead, let it empower you. Let it strengthen your weaknesses,
and let it feed your drive to success. She will help you learn about yourself; she will
push you; she will change you; she will impact you. Overall, she will make you a better man.